Epic wrestle

What a battle, what a wrestle, Lord.
What is going on?
Is this wind and storm that will strengthen me?
Are roots growing deeper and stronger?
Or have I lost all perspective?
Am I falling completely apart?
From this side--the two feel about the same.

From where come these waves of discouragement?
Over the past few months, several times,
Waves upon waves that just hammer
And wear down
I haven't yet learned a method for quick recovery
All I can do is ride them out
Feel the battering
Crawl to my feet again.

So today, this morning I come again.
Last time, You did come and steady my heart
Thank You
So today
With all these uncertainties
    Landlord negotiation, and the hopeless feel to it
    Changes at the school
    Finding staff
    Planning not yet done
    This lack of motivation
    And all the other things in which I'm behind
    All the other things I'm thinking, feeling
    (hmmm...being sick, yeah, that affects too I guess)

Lord, I cry out to You again.
I listen over and over to "Faithful" (S.C.C.)
Actually I've be scrambling, searching for songs
Anything that will speak to my heart
And pull me on...

I ask You for
Perspective that surpasses all of this
And Lord, remind me again of Your love and care for me...
Oh God...

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