Do NOT be discouraged

A nearby passage was my reading earlier in the week, and I was reminded of this, written 2010.09.15. At that time I had a sense that God was saying something to me--to press on, to go forward, to build. And now again I wonder if He is still saying the same thing.

From 1 Chron, 28:9, 10, 20:

Learn to know the God of your ancestors intimately

Worship and serve Him with
   your whole heart and
      a willing mind

For the Lord sees every heart
   and knows every plan and thought

If you seek Him
   you will find Him

So TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY
The Lord has chosen YOU to build a temple...
    Be strong and do the work
Be Strong and Courageous and Do the work

Do not be afraid or discouraged
   for the Lord God
      My God is with you
      He will not fail you or forsake you

     He will see to it
        that all the work...
           is finished correctly


"Do not be discouraged!"
We are charged with that many times through Scripture.
I think I've been discouraged, or getting discouraged again and again.
Yesterday I was introduced to some new music, and found some other music, and it blessed me.
Either last night, or this morning I had the thought, "I'm going to need to work hard to NOT be discouraged." And, thankfully, I had ideas, and the energy to be proactive--got up to exercise, to work out to a new playlist of songs I purchased and downloaded videos for yesterday.

I bought and am enjoying many songs from Michael W. Smith's new album Sovereign.
Here is the song Sovereign over us

 I also considered Steven Curtis Chapman's Glorious Unfolding.  The song Take Another Step is good for me, something I need to remember. I get overwhelmed, lost, confused, can't see my way through, or how what I am doing will be useful, and I get paralyzed and stop. No...I need to learn to just "take another step, and another step."

Thank You Lord, for breaking through to me in my discouragement. Thank You...glimpses of clarity and hope break through, come again and lift me...

Now, Get off Your Butt!! (part 2)

This is another thing You want to work on in my life--this laziness of mine. Oh, I know, some who know me would wonder at that--don't I work hard? Don't I work too many hours and push too hard sometimes? Yes, I do that too. They might say, "Are you sometimes too hard on yourself?" Yes, that's a problem sometimes.

But there is another problem I have, one that You and I know, some others do too. It's related to the "busyness" that is really "laziness at the center." And it's about a lack of faithfulness and diligence and discipline in my life. There is work You give me to do, that is related to my gifting, is almost all pleasure, and generally easy to jump to--maybe positive and immediate feedback also helps. But there is also the work that is necessary, hard, requires simple diligence and faithfulness. Too often I leave that work, delay it. I stick with what I feel like doing, not what I should do. That last minute rush I've lived all my life--papers and exams ready at the last minute, preparation at the last minute. When the imminent deadline is upon me I suddenly feel like doing it, and then pour myself into the task.

You want me to learn diligence and faithfulness. Gently you guide, prod, remind.

This week's daily opening invocation (in "the blue book"*) is: 

Almighty God, who came to us long ago in the birth of Jesus Christ, be born in us anew today by the power of your Holy Spirit. We offer our lives as home to you and ask for grace and strength to live as your faithful, joyful children always. Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

And the closing benediction each day is:

You have been reminded that Jesus Christ is your Lord and that you are God's servant. You are loved; you are forgiven; you are empowered; and now you are sent to live as God's faithful one. Amen

Each day I have prayed that I would live faithfully. Each day I have entered the day reminded of what I have been given and having received the charge to "live as God's faithful one."

Today's reading from Zephaniah 3:14-20 didn't "say" anything to me this morning, until I first noticed something previously underlined on the next page--Hag. 2:4-5 (NLT, emphasis mine):

But now the LORD says: 'Be strong, Zerubbabel. Be strong, Jeshua son of Jehozadak, the high priest. Be strong, all you people still left in the land. And now get to work, for I am with you, says the LORD of Heaven's Armies. My Spirit remains among you, just as I promised when you came out of Egypt. So do not be afraid.'

Oh this passage has so much of the same things You have been saying to me in other places--"be strong," "don't be afraid," because "I am with you"--but then also adds the "get to work." After reading this, I read the Zephaniah passage again, ah, there in v. 16 is a "Fear not" (again), followed shortly with a "let not your hands grow weak" (keep working, be faithful, GET TO WORK), and before and after that verse God says, in effect, I am with you. "The King of Israel, the LORD, is in your midst" (v. 15), and "The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save" (v. 17).

So...I turn to my work today, late, not as faithful as I could be, but this week, I have learned some, done better sometimes. Today there is some tedious work--editing Christmas messages to students, revising the agenda for our big evaluation meetings next week (I'll try not to struggle or complain about the '2-language-brain' issues I seem to have.) and then doing some of my own evaluation thinking work. 

May this start to work its way into my life...
Thank You. You are faithful. You will keep working on me!

*"the blue book" is my guide for the next year at least, starting Advent (December 1) 2013--its real name is A Guide to Prayer for Ministers and Other Servants." It came highly recommended, and I'm expecting good things!
 

Now, Get off Your Butt!! (part 1)

I'd rather dream and ponder than ACT
Journaling, deep thoughts, intensity
Much more fun that filing
Pretty arrogant, aren't I?
Somehow think I'm above "boring work"
Somehow think I'm exempt from the dirty stuff,
The mess clean-up

Or...I just like to clean up a different kind of mess
Not my own
Not ... papers
Not ... finance reports
Not ... taxes

Get off your butt, girl!
Lead yourself, would you!
Life is about more than just what you WANT to do
Responsibility is doing what you ought to do when you ought to
Get on with it!

Nov. 28, 2013

Weep for the Lack

So many other guys have girlfriends, I really want to have a girlfriend too.
I'm lonely on weekends, ever since I hurt my friend--we don't talk much since then.
They don't think about how I feel, don't consider what I gave, I think they're just selfish.

So many things he wanted to talk about, burdening him down.  I'm so glad he did, and it was a great conversation--talking about how we let other people know how we feel, apologize when we've done wrong, evaluate why we might want to be in a relationship.

I cried after he left though. I just feel bad for him, wish he didn't have to wait until high school, to get here and have to talk to me about this stuff. I cried for his lack!

These are questions a guy should have been talking with his parents on and off again, over and over again, over the years growing up. They are the ordinary questions of growing up, learning to live, learning to make things right with others, learning to apologize, or let others know when they've hurt you, etc. But who has instructed him?

And then the other painful part...family.

Other students ask me about my dad. I don't know what to say. I say he's away.
My mom...came home at spring festival...she's lost a lot of hair, has way more wrinkles...and she brought a man with her, I don't like the way the people in the village talk about this...
...only cried once since dad died (abt 10 years ago), that was last term when mom was about to have surgery.

Did no one reach out to this guy and give him opportunities to grieve after his dad died? Well, can't blame anyone else, they didn't know either, but...

Now, in grade 11 he wants to talk, wants to know what to do about these. I love his heart, that he wants to learn. 

Tonight he plans to make an appointment to get together with his friend. He'll put away 'face' and apologize later in the week, and hopefully regain a friend. He's learning the skills.  (Skills I'm still working on myself.)
I just hurt that he hasn't had parents to walk this with him, that he has to try so hard to be strong.  (His sister--oh, I can't say for sure, but I think her 'trying to be strong' is in her over the top exuberance. Ah...)

I love this part of the work I do, the one-on-one walking with students. But I wonder...if it had been me...oh...

Annual Offsite

The world Staff Retreat keeps coming up, but "retreat" is not quite the right word, if it evokes the idea of "vacation". I guess if you see it more from a tactical "retreat, regroup, re-inspire the troops, strategize and go at it again" perspective, then, yes, we are having our staff retreat this week.

I am, once again, hoping and praying for insight, direction, and breakthroughs. I don't seem to see very far into the future, nor very deep into people's personalities, strengths and weaknesses. I see problems. I see frustrations. And I DO see growth and progress. I have some ideas about how we need to go forward, but just for the next few steps. And the picture is partial. We need ideas and insights from others for it to work--we need to have this team, really be a TEAM.

Oh, team, yeah, I am really hoping that some good discussion will be generated by "The 5 Dysfunctions of a Team" by Patrick Lencioni. Most all of them will have read it, and feedback so far has been good. But will we be able to really dive in and apply it to our situation? Will we leave the retreat with specific next steps regarding what we discover about our team dynamics, and how to improve them? That will be part of the plan.

So I have been working, and still need to do a fair amount of work, to facilitate a retreat that will be both very useful and meaningful towards helping us gain clarity, and know what we are shooting for over the next year, as well as refreshing and encouraging personally. We need tangible, measurable, doable goals that when accomplished will contribute significantly to our vision. We need to figure out how each of us specifically fits into the action plans. And I want each of the staff members to grow personally as a result of this time together. I want us to be closer, more respect, more caring, more committed to our team vision.

I'm particularly looking forward to each night's bedtime reading--The Magician's Nephew, by C.S. Lewis. They...never new the joys of 'bedtime stories' as children. I hope they will enjoy it now, and perhaps start a new tradition in the next generation. 

More Like This One

Today, was a good day at work.

I want more days like this one.

I want every day to be like this one. 

It was long...very long. Yesterday was long too, and tomorrow will be. But it was good. There was good cooperation. One of the projects we've been working on, that has been so hard, today went well. We've been trying to find elusive solutions and creating processes that will simplify, but the path is not clear, and the final solution isn't even that straight forward. It can be so frustrating. I feel I've tried to communicate clearly, but somehow we have not been on the same page. And then frustrating for a staff member--work their butt of to produce what they think is needed, only to hear, "okay, now can you take it and do..."

But today was good. There was an awareness of potential pitfalls, and working together through them. There were gentle reminders. "It's lunch time, yeah, take a break. We've still got a long day ahead, with lots of complicated parts that are going to need us to be really alert, and rise above emotional reactions." "Okay, this part--it is going to be complicated. There will be errors, and we don't quite know the best way to work it, but that's part of it."

And today--things that could have been frustrations, and irritations with each other, were light, and amusing instead. It started with my a.m. text message--"I'll be at the office at 9:40-45. I want to have a quick meeting then and plan the day." Just 2 minutes before leaving the house I thought it was strange that a staff member texted back--"so, what about that other meeting?" What? I thought. Just wait a few minutes...I'll be right there and we'll talk about it.  At 8:45 I was there, just as I had said..."Come on guys...our meeting." The first person came in, "Your text said 9..." Yeah...I had meant to say 8:40-45...but it was all flex today. We were able to enjoy each other and laugh about our mistakes, and easily point out and laugh (in the best way possible) about those of others too.

I want every day at work to be like this one. I'm going to need to work hard to make it happen. Mostly, I'm going to need to keep coming before my Father each day--submitting all my worries and stresses, asking for grace, being so aware of the pressure I can give to others.

Thank You, Lord. I think I am learning. Most of all I am learning of my incredible need for You, and I am willing that when I pray and ask, You do lead and answer. I prayed yesterday knowing...I'm feeling the time crunch, and frustration at not knowing how things will get done. It will be easy for me to speak out of that, and for others then to think I'm mad at them. Lord, help me be aware, and not do that...

Today, was a good day at work.

I want more days like this one.

I want every day to be like this one.