What a Wrestle...

What a wrestle it's been this week Lord
Thank You for more of a sense of peace...finally

What a wrestle to trust
to believe
to actually, really rely

To believe that You are watching over me
That all will be okay
To rely on Your unfailing love
And have it actually affect my emotions
And the way I work

I so crave
clarity
direction
reliable outcomes

And when they are nowhere in sight
I go CRAZY

Can I really believe that you are watching over
to rescue
to deliver
in love

Can I learn to work like you do
in faithfulness

(reflections from life, and hanging out in Psalm 33 for 2 weeks)

In You I take refuge

"O Lord my God, in you do I take refuge..."  Ps. 7:1

So many mornings I rush into the day
I try to first spend time with You
To turn to You
Read Your word
Listen
But I get so distracted, not focused

Today I've been able to focus
Not run to other things--internet browsing etc
(Even able to ignore reading some text messages, till after)
But now as the time comes to an end
I start to feel anxious
All the things that need to be done in these two days
And the feeling that there are too many I have not yet thought of
Come rushing in

But God, here, now, in You I take refuge
I turn to you, I ask You God
to lead this day
to show the way
to point me to Your solutions

And I trust God
That I, that my needs are not hidden from You
In love and compassion and mercy You are watching me
You are looking on in love and compassion and mercy
Guiding, protecting
Enough of what needs to happen will happen

Lead me Lord
In Your mercy and grace
Help me to trust


Written Aug 3, 2012, Psalm 7 & 8 were the readings at 2 Years of Psalms this week.

I'm counting on it!

Those who know your name trust in you,

for you, O LORD, do not abandon those who search for you.

ps. 9:10 NLT

This is one of the verses I have landed on and clung to again and again throughout the years. There are a few of them in the Psalms. Psalm 25:3 says, "No one whose hope is in You will ever be put to shame" (NIV). When struggling, when nearing despair, when wondering where the answers might be, when overwhelmed by the challenges, I've often come back to this verse and cried out to God--You said it...I'm relying on it.

I'm there again today
I don't know what to do
what direction to turn
A breakthrough is desparately needed
One I've been looking for for a long time

And so I turn to You God
I turn to You, again, still
I put my hope in You
in Your love
in Your goodness
and choose to believe that
in turning to You
I will not be put to shame
I will not be abandoned

(Psalm 9 is the reading for this week at 2 Years of Psalms, I jumped on this verse and grabbed it!)  

Waiting Expectantly

Along with A.H. and others at 2 Years of Psalms, I've been reading Psalm 5 & 6 this past week.

I listened to the 2 chapters earlier in the week, but was struck the last part of Ps. 5:3 when I finally read it a couple of days ago--it jumped out at me because it was underlined; it must have jumped out at me in another reading a year or two go.  "Each morning I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly" (NLT).

It's the "wait expectantly" part that hits me.  Do I?  Well the "bringing requests" hits too--do I? And when I do, do I really wait expectantly? Lots of times I don't know that I do. If I don't, what am I doing then?  I don't know!  Do I not believe He hears? Do I not believe He really will answer?

And I don't know why this is so hard, but I need to remember, and choose...to come, bring my requests, and wait expectantly--knowing He is listening (I have to remind myself), knowing He is watching over my life and caring (in the not seeing Him, I think I may have forgotten), and that He will act (He will, He does, He has so many times before).

Oh God forgive me. I forget You really are there. I come and talk to You, then walk away not listening for the answer. How rude. How horrible. How... but not today. Today I bring my requests. And wait expectantly. You hear. You will rescue. You will restore. You will heal. You will give wisdom and direction. Thank You!