Yearning

I've finally become quiet enough
And rested enough
And "processed" enough
To come
To be

The pain...is gone
(not to say it won't come back)
The "numb" is past
The confusion and feeling muddled...

And what I sense is a yearning
To be with You
To speak to You
To hear Your voice
And the sense that it is possible
I will hear and know Your voice again

 

Strengthen Me

Oh sometimes I would just love to be strong
Strong to not hurt
Strong to not fear
Strong to feel able to face the day

You do offer strengthening
You promise to strengthen those who wait on You
I can ask
And You will give
Strength

But it doesn't mean I won't hurt
It doesn't mean I will not fear
It doesn't mean I will feel able to face the day

The lack of fear
And feeling able to face things
Those will come by my choosing to trust
Choosing to believe Your promises

As for hurting--that's just gonna happen!

How to be strong:  

14 When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, 15 the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. 16 I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. 17 Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. 18 And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. 19 May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

20 Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. 21 Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen.

(Eph. 3:14-21, NLT)

There is much strengthening available 

    through His Spirit, 
    by His love, 
    through living in His love. 
This is the strength I need. 
This is the kind of "strong" others need from me

This is the kind of "strong" I need to be

Strengthen me, LORD, for this day, for the tasks at hand, strengthen me in Your love, by Your Spirit. Make Your home in my heart as I trust in You.


Changes needed

Arrange your days
so that you experience
total contentment,
joy, and confidence
in your everyday life with God.

(From Soul Keeping, by John Ortberg, quoting something Dallas Willard said to him, and that is now on his wall, the first thing he sees when goes to work every day.)

I need to work on "arranging my days."

the core

May 25, 2014
It echoes in my head these days
*"that I get the core of my validation needs met from His love"

How do I get the core of my validation needs met from His love?
How do I get back there now?

If I sit in Your presense
If I hear You tell me You love me
Or maybe just some good conversation--that sense of well-being that comes from being with good friends

And then it hits me
Have I ever lived with the core of my validation needs met from Your love?

June 10, 2014
It's still echoing
Beckoning
Calling
God...
Tell me who I am to You
Show me who You are
What my life is to be in relation to You
The goals
The vision
Seem cold
What used to excite and inspire
Doesn't always, anymore

I think I know where I need to spend some time


*Source:  Pete Scazzero  Am I Becoming a More Differentiated Leader
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