I remember the last time I was desperate like this, 7 years ago now. I remember reading Phil. 3:8 where Paul said he had lost all things for the sake of Christ. What I realized was "Nothing is worth keeping, at the cost of losing Christ." I was weary, living too busy, seeing so much not like Christ inside, and had come to the place where I was hardly hearing His voice. At that time I evaluated, and made changes. In the evaluation time, I was so clear that anything and everything could be scratched if needed--my role, my work. Nothing was worth keeping at the expense of losing Christ.
Now I am in a similar place, and needing to see that central focus return. Last week I heard a previously recorded message by Dallas Willard, and one line has been repeatedly going through my head:
"The greatest challenge to our faith is to make sure
we do the things we need to do
to keep ourselves centered in God
and ... environed in grace."
I'm not sure how to plan my schedule. I'll probably never figure it out, but there are some things that have to happen. And this is a filter I can use to evaluate the decisions of each day--will it help keep me centered in God?
I don't know if I'll get my work hours down to consistently 50 or less...actually, I have to find a way (I just hope I let fall the things that are least important). I must make sure I learn to get to bed earlier (:o/ writing at 2:15 a.m. now), so that I can get up in the morning for time with Him. The morning prayer time with my roommate is good. The new book I am starting to dabble in, and its noon and evening examen, is good! These will help keep me centered in God. Everything else can go!
If I do nothing else, I must say "Yes!" to the things that will keep me abiding, centered in God, surrounded and transformed by His grace.