Greetings Friend!

Hi there,

It was good to see you again today.

As you came close

I suddenly realized

How nice it was

And...

    It's been a LONG time

There you were

Feeling light and free

Enjoying people

Enjoying strangers

The elderly lady who was friendly

    Sitting beside her on the bus

Chatting, about 

    life

    the city

    what it's like to be retired

Noticing and enjoying the exuberant little girl

    Walking home from school with her grandmother

A smile for the woman walking her dog

Letting a young man know

    "I also like those little croissants

    ---bought some yesterday."

I saw you there

Just a few glimpses today

I wonder if you'll be coming back

More regularly

Stay for longer

I'd like that

I really would

I wonder what sort of space and time

Is needed for that to happen

Maybe you were never meant

To come back permanently

Maybe...

    You've changed in the absence

Maybe...

    I don't even know what I'm looking for

When I yearn to see the "real you" again

Ah...

The me I want to be

More often

For longer

I wonder what it will take

A Healthy Soul

"...a soul is healthy to the extent that it experiences a strong connection to and receptivity to God."

from Soul Care

These days...focusing on renewing that health--the connection and receptivity.

"Living from a healthy soul does not mean you'll have an easy life...[it] means you remain alive to God, alive to yourself and alive to others, smack in the middle of the ups and down s of life."

Mindy Caliguire, in preview from Discovering Soul Care

How alive to God am I? How can I become more alive to God?

He Laughs a lot

Someone outside keeps laughing.
He's in conversation with someone else, and ... he just seems to laugh quite often.

Not a bad thing, to have it be said or known about you...He laughs a lot. She's happy. He lightens up the atmosphere. Love her easy-going and friendly manner.

Laughter...good for the soul
Good for everyone around you.
Laugh.
Enjoy life.
Enjoy people.
Enjoy God.
I want to laugh more.

Why so angry?

I was so upset last night, and then again today. I could go there again now.
Scary.

I need to process. I need to get to the root of this, and figure out:  Why I am so angry?  And after I figure that out, I need to know what to do next.

A few weeks ago there was a free resource I downloaded from Christianity Today--on Word doc called Managing Conflict. I opened it up and started reading more of it last night, and then more just now. One article by Bill Hybels is particularly helpful and insightful. I do love the numerous examples he gives--of different types of conflict, different ways of resolving, the heart searching that is needed, ways of keeping conflict above ground.

Yes, this anger has to do with something between me and another person. So many streams of events, so much that has impacted where things are now. And I'm surprised at the intensity of emotion inside of me.

As Hybels talks about being emotionally healthy, I can't help but ask myself, "Am I ... emotionally healthy?" Scary to ask. Scary to consider a negative answer--especially as I spend my whole life supposedly helping others walk towards being 'healthy'.

Yet, I am finding, there is always room to go deeper. And, I have been suprised in recent years to see that in certain parts of my life, I am pretty messed up. In this situation, there are some emotions inside, and some thoughts--when I stand apart and look, I have to say, "Wow, that's a pretty immature response." And I see other things too--like pride and arrogance. I recognize that sometimes I would rather hide, or defend and accuse, than humble myself. And sometimes I just want to walk away.

I do love the numerous examples he gives--of different types of conflict, different ways of resolving, the heart searching that is needed, ways of keeping conflict above ground. It's hopeful, motivating. There is a type of person I want to be, want to become, but sometimes I face the true cost and am tempted to back away.

So...here, I have started to process. Much more is needed.

Lord, please lead me, and grow me--I need to be an emotionally healthy person. What do I need to face? What do I need to work through? What is my baggage--especially the stuff not yet discovered? And in this situation, please lead--may I be a person who works hard for community, and reconciliation. May my heart be filled with your love. May I learn and practise the skills to work well with others.