God, take my life
Let it be broken before You
Broken, Renewed, Energized
I have not yet lived a life
that shows Your glory
Make something of it that is big and powerful
Beyond normal
Make it spectacular
So that the only explanation...is You
So that they really do see You
How great You are
How powerful
No! More!
How incredibly loving You are
Show Your beauty
Show Your grace
Show Your mercy
Always loving
Always reaching
You...coming into our brokennes
and when You come
we feel no shame
Just Your love
Your acceptance
Your way through
Take me Lord and use me
May my life show Your Glory
My life has not yet shown Your glory
To this broken dying world
Take my life
and may this prayer be more than
passion and tears today
as I'm feeling it
but work out into every day action...
Dec. 17, 2013
A New Day
I wake to a new day
(well, actually, got a late start waking to a new day)
And there is nothing in me that wants to
Lean into my work
Lean into responsibility
Lean into the tasks that must be done
To be Your faithful child this day
God, I'm so glad You're far more faithful than I
I ...
Well
You know who I am
You know what this is with me
You know
And still You love
I ...
A tear trickles down one cheek
I ...
Wish it was different
Know I'll regret it even more
If I follow through on my feelings this day
So ...
Here I am
I ...
Turn to You
Talk to You about it
"Waste" even more time
(Is this just another ploy to procrastinate--
A more "spiritual" way to put off my work?)
David said,
As soon as I pray, you answer me;
you encourage me by giving me strength.*
So...
This is my prayer
This is my call for help
This is my turning to You for strength
Please, help me this day Lord,
This week
It's more than my heart wants to face
I so easily lose sight of Your goodness
Your blessing
Your help that is on the way
I so easily despair
Forget the goal
Forget the good that will happen
If only I do not give up
*Ps. 138:3, NLT
Songs to bring me back...
(well, actually, got a late start waking to a new day)
And there is nothing in me that wants to
Lean into my work
Lean into responsibility
Lean into the tasks that must be done
To be Your faithful child this day
God, I'm so glad You're far more faithful than I
I ...
Well
You know who I am
You know what this is with me
You know
And still You love
I ...
A tear trickles down one cheek
I ...
Wish it was different
Know I'll regret it even more
If I follow through on my feelings this day
So ...
Here I am
I ...
Turn to You
Talk to You about it
"Waste" even more time
(Is this just another ploy to procrastinate--
A more "spiritual" way to put off my work?)
David said,
As soon as I pray, you answer me;
you encourage me by giving me strength.*
So...
This is my prayer
This is my call for help
This is my turning to You for strength
Please, help me this day Lord,
This week
It's more than my heart wants to face
I so easily lose sight of Your goodness
Your blessing
Your help that is on the way
I so easily despair
Forget the goal
Forget the good that will happen
If only I do not give up
*Ps. 138:3, NLT
Songs to bring me back...
Lay Me Down
10,000 Reasons
Wandering.. back
Jesus,
It's been a busy week. You have been here through all of it. You've led, prompted, I've continued to notice themes--You speaking to me. Yet, right now, I'm scattered, feeling a little distant, not centered. Too many nights not prompt to shut down and get to bed, leading to shortened or tired mornings.
I'm not truly sure where I am in the evaluation of my days. Certainly there are ways in which I've not measured up to your call to faithfulness and diligence. And yet, there is growth, there is a choosing to trust, believe, act, and see what You do. And You DO act, You DO provide.
But...I'm "off" now. Off-kilter. Off-balance. Off-schedule. Off-center.
Thank You Lord...tomorrow is free. Tomorrow can be rest, and worship, and coming back--to being centered in You.
Please...guide my sleeping, and my waking. The thoughts that come, the choices I make.
Please, bring me back to what is most important, for the day, the week, this time, this season, for me, for those around me.
Please, renew, revive, re-focus.
Thank You--You will. You are. You do.
Thank You--You are with me now. You love. Your grace and mercy and compassion never end.
It's been a busy week. You have been here through all of it. You've led, prompted, I've continued to notice themes--You speaking to me. Yet, right now, I'm scattered, feeling a little distant, not centered. Too many nights not prompt to shut down and get to bed, leading to shortened or tired mornings.
I'm not truly sure where I am in the evaluation of my days. Certainly there are ways in which I've not measured up to your call to faithfulness and diligence. And yet, there is growth, there is a choosing to trust, believe, act, and see what You do. And You DO act, You DO provide.
But...I'm "off" now. Off-kilter. Off-balance. Off-schedule. Off-center.
Thank You Lord...tomorrow is free. Tomorrow can be rest, and worship, and coming back--to being centered in You.
Please...guide my sleeping, and my waking. The thoughts that come, the choices I make.
Please, bring me back to what is most important, for the day, the week, this time, this season, for me, for those around me.
Please, renew, revive, re-focus.
Thank You--You will. You are. You do.
Thank You--You are with me now. You love. Your grace and mercy and compassion never end.
Wrecked
How can I let my heart be "wrecked"--again and again, and moved to action that makes a difference? Somehow I need to learn to remove the clutter of my life, that gets in the way, that bogs down and takes away from most important things.
Do you know--I still haven't followed up on the family of the girl that killed herself in September (mom was dying, a younger brother in Jr high school that probably does not have much emotional support at all)...I looked up some numbers in my phone...I should be able to find them.
Do you know--I have heard rumours of abuse at a junior high school, and in another location (or two) rumours of jr high girls lured into prostitution. I wonder if girls get tricked to come and 'work' at a place right here in town. About these things, as yet, I have done nothing.
Oh sure...I've found some meaningful things to do with my days--help youth walk through their grief, helping a high school girl now figure out how to avoid and what to do about the uncle that wants her to do things he should never ask of her... Guys are hurting, afraid, due to their absent and abusive fathers. A girl wants to hate her mom due to her affair. Yes, for these things, and many more, we are trying to help them find away.
But...there is so much more.
Christ has
No body now on earth but yours;
No hands but yours;
No feet but yours;
Yours are the eyes
Through which is to look out
Christ's compassion to the world;
Yours are the feet
With which he is to go about
Doing good;
Yours are the hands
With which he is to bless now.
--Saint Teresa of Avila
Jesus, I repent, again, still
I suppose there will be many more times of repentance
For the foolish ways in which I spend my days
The gifts I throw away
The pain from which I turn away
Lest it too inconvenience my life
Make me Yours
Fully Yours
You, are not okay with these things still happening in our world
I should not be okay with it either
Change me
Open my eyes
Show me the way through
Strengthen me
May my life somehow be spent
That more good
And less of this evil and pain
Exists in my little corner of the planet
The corner You've entrusted me to walk
Oh you who read this...don't applaud me. Don't say this is fine and grand. Words and passion are nothing without action. God alone knows how much I have really done in comparison to how much I have been given. And don't either tell me that I'm being too hard on myself. This is not condemnation, I am free of that in Jesus Christ (Thank you, Lord!), but rather a calling, an invitation, that connects with what, in the end, I really most want out of life.
(Bill Hybel's message Holy Discontent has many times been an encouragement to "let it wreck" me. Jeff Goins' book Wrecked: When a Broken World Slams into Your Comfortable Life, looks like a good one to gently invite a life of more self-sacrifice.)
Do you know--I still haven't followed up on the family of the girl that killed herself in September (mom was dying, a younger brother in Jr high school that probably does not have much emotional support at all)...I looked up some numbers in my phone...I should be able to find them.
Do you know--I have heard rumours of abuse at a junior high school, and in another location (or two) rumours of jr high girls lured into prostitution. I wonder if girls get tricked to come and 'work' at a place right here in town. About these things, as yet, I have done nothing.
Oh sure...I've found some meaningful things to do with my days--help youth walk through their grief, helping a high school girl now figure out how to avoid and what to do about the uncle that wants her to do things he should never ask of her... Guys are hurting, afraid, due to their absent and abusive fathers. A girl wants to hate her mom due to her affair. Yes, for these things, and many more, we are trying to help them find away.
But...there is so much more.
Christ has
No body now on earth but yours;
No hands but yours;
No feet but yours;
Yours are the eyes
Through which is to look out
Christ's compassion to the world;
Yours are the feet
With which he is to go about
Doing good;
Yours are the hands
With which he is to bless now.
--Saint Teresa of Avila
Jesus, I repent, again, still
I suppose there will be many more times of repentance
For the foolish ways in which I spend my days
The gifts I throw away
The pain from which I turn away
Lest it too inconvenience my life
Make me Yours
Fully Yours
You, are not okay with these things still happening in our world
I should not be okay with it either
Change me
Open my eyes
Show me the way through
Strengthen me
May my life somehow be spent
That more good
And less of this evil and pain
Exists in my little corner of the planet
The corner You've entrusted me to walk
Oh you who read this...don't applaud me. Don't say this is fine and grand. Words and passion are nothing without action. God alone knows how much I have really done in comparison to how much I have been given. And don't either tell me that I'm being too hard on myself. This is not condemnation, I am free of that in Jesus Christ (Thank you, Lord!), but rather a calling, an invitation, that connects with what, in the end, I really most want out of life.
(Bill Hybel's message Holy Discontent has many times been an encouragement to "let it wreck" me. Jeff Goins' book Wrecked: When a Broken World Slams into Your Comfortable Life, looks like a good one to gently invite a life of more self-sacrifice.)
An Army, Please
A friend once told me, I'd need an army for all the things I want to see happen. The ideas are coming again, fast and furious. Lord, please send an army! Of course this is a peaceful army, it means a lot of people, but...they need to be smart and skilled, because I'm not. The only part I can play is pointing out the need, building and fanning some fires. Lord, send people with the smarts to organize, and strategize and find the resources, and the courage and stamina to persist even through failure and brick walls.
We need a whole lot of people. There is so much that needs to be done:
And...what am I supposed to do? What role would/should I play? What kind of life, and life availability (tasks ON the plate, tasks OFF the plate) do I need to work towards these things?
Lord, I continue to seek and dream, lead the thoughts and ideas. And until it is time for them, may I learn to be faithful in what is before me now.
We need a whole lot of people. There is so much that needs to be done:
- Sex Ed. for younger students throughout the county
- Homes for the needy--mentally unstable, homeless, elderly, etc.
- The exploitation of girls--junior high girls being lured into prostitution, being abused. We hear rumours. I wonder at some things I have seen. This needs to be investigated.
- Families encouraged, parents trained in parenting
- A counselling centre
- Youth training--skills and character
- What about homes/dorms for students? Even elementary students end up living on their own far from home
- Of course it would be great if there was some vocational training too--agriculture, business skills--training and job opportunities that create income, yet nurture the environment
And...what am I supposed to do? What role would/should I play? What kind of life, and life availability (tasks ON the plate, tasks OFF the plate) do I need to work towards these things?
Lord, I continue to seek and dream, lead the thoughts and ideas. And until it is time for them, may I learn to be faithful in what is before me now.
Now, Get off Your Butt!! (part 2)
This is another thing You want to work on in my life--this laziness of mine. Oh, I know, some who know me would wonder at that--don't I work hard? Don't I work too many hours and push too hard sometimes? Yes, I do that too. They might say, "Are you sometimes too hard on yourself?" Yes, that's a problem sometimes.
But there is another problem I have, one that You and I know, some others do too. It's related to the "busyness" that is really "laziness at the center." And it's about a lack of faithfulness and diligence and discipline in my life. There is work You give me to do, that is related to my gifting, is almost all pleasure, and generally easy to jump to--maybe positive and immediate feedback also helps. But there is also the work that is necessary, hard, requires simple diligence and faithfulness. Too often I leave that work, delay it. I stick with what I feel like doing, not what I should do. That last minute rush I've lived all my life--papers and exams ready at the last minute, preparation at the last minute. When the imminent deadline is upon me I suddenly feel like doing it, and then pour myself into the task.
You want me to learn diligence and faithfulness. Gently you guide, prod, remind.
This week's daily opening invocation (in "the blue book"*) is:
Today's reading from Zephaniah 3:14-20 didn't "say" anything to me this morning, until I first noticed something previously underlined on the next page--Hag. 2:4-5 (NLT, emphasis mine):
So...I turn to my work today, late, not as faithful as I could be, but this week, I have learned some, done better sometimes. Today there is some tedious work--editing Christmas messages to students, revising the agenda for our big evaluation meetings next week (I'll try not to struggle or complain about the '2-language-brain' issues I seem to have.) and then doing some of my own evaluation thinking work.
May this start to work its way into my life...
Thank You. You are faithful. You will keep working on me!
*"the blue book" is my guide for the next year at least, starting Advent (December 1) 2013--its real name is A Guide to Prayer for Ministers and Other Servants." It came highly recommended, and I'm expecting good things!
But there is another problem I have, one that You and I know, some others do too. It's related to the "busyness" that is really "laziness at the center." And it's about a lack of faithfulness and diligence and discipline in my life. There is work You give me to do, that is related to my gifting, is almost all pleasure, and generally easy to jump to--maybe positive and immediate feedback also helps. But there is also the work that is necessary, hard, requires simple diligence and faithfulness. Too often I leave that work, delay it. I stick with what I feel like doing, not what I should do. That last minute rush I've lived all my life--papers and exams ready at the last minute, preparation at the last minute. When the imminent deadline is upon me I suddenly feel like doing it, and then pour myself into the task.
You want me to learn diligence and faithfulness. Gently you guide, prod, remind.
This week's daily opening invocation (in "the blue book"*) is:
Almighty God, who came to us long ago in the birth of Jesus Christ, be born in us anew today by the power of your Holy Spirit. We offer our lives as home to you and ask for grace and strength to live as your faithful, joyful children always. Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.And the closing benediction each day is:
You have been reminded that Jesus Christ is your Lord and that you are God's servant. You are loved; you are forgiven; you are empowered; and now you are sent to live as God's faithful one. AmenEach day I have prayed that I would live faithfully. Each day I have entered the day reminded of what I have been given and having received the charge to "live as God's faithful one."
Today's reading from Zephaniah 3:14-20 didn't "say" anything to me this morning, until I first noticed something previously underlined on the next page--Hag. 2:4-5 (NLT, emphasis mine):
But now the LORD says: 'Be strong, Zerubbabel. Be strong, Jeshua son of Jehozadak, the high priest. Be strong, all you people still left in the land. And now get to work, for I am with you, says the LORD of Heaven's Armies. My Spirit remains among you, just as I promised when you came out of Egypt. So do not be afraid.'Oh this passage has so much of the same things You have been saying to me in other places--"be strong," "don't be afraid," because "I am with you"--but then also adds the "get to work." After reading this, I read the Zephaniah passage again, ah, there in v. 16 is a "Fear not" (again), followed shortly with a "let not your hands grow weak" (keep working, be faithful, GET TO WORK), and before and after that verse God says, in effect, I am with you. "The King of Israel, the LORD, is in your midst" (v. 15), and "The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save" (v. 17).
So...I turn to my work today, late, not as faithful as I could be, but this week, I have learned some, done better sometimes. Today there is some tedious work--editing Christmas messages to students, revising the agenda for our big evaluation meetings next week (I'll try not to struggle or complain about the '2-language-brain' issues I seem to have.) and then doing some of my own evaluation thinking work.
May this start to work its way into my life...
Thank You. You are faithful. You will keep working on me!
*"the blue book" is my guide for the next year at least, starting Advent (December 1) 2013--its real name is A Guide to Prayer for Ministers and Other Servants." It came highly recommended, and I'm expecting good things!
Now, Get off Your Butt!! (part 1)
I'd rather dream and ponder than ACT
Journaling, deep thoughts, intensity
Much more fun that filing
Pretty arrogant, aren't I?
Somehow think I'm above "boring work"
Somehow think I'm exempt from the dirty stuff,
The mess clean-up
Or...I just like to clean up a different kind of mess
Not my own
Not ... papers
Not ... finance reports
Not ... taxes
Get off your butt, girl!
Lead yourself, would you!
Life is about more than just what you WANT to do
Responsibility is doing what you ought to do when you ought to
Get on with it!
Nov. 28, 2013
Journaling, deep thoughts, intensity
Much more fun that filing
Pretty arrogant, aren't I?
Somehow think I'm above "boring work"
Somehow think I'm exempt from the dirty stuff,
The mess clean-up
Or...I just like to clean up a different kind of mess
Not my own
Not ... papers
Not ... finance reports
Not ... taxes
Get off your butt, girl!
Lead yourself, would you!
Life is about more than just what you WANT to do
Responsibility is doing what you ought to do when you ought to
Get on with it!
Nov. 28, 2013
Raw
That's how I am today
Emotionally raw
So much has happened
So much has hit
And I'm bracing for some more "hits" today
Some has been incredibly encouraging
A sense of great things in the air
Some has been incredibly frightening
A sense of impending doom and disaster
I haven't yet learned to trust
I turn to You again
Still
I remember Your love
Your goodness
For this day
Again
What Strength?
"Go in the strength you have"?
You have got to be kidding me
My "strength"
Is truly limited!
And it will be like fighting one man--really?
Is that for me too?
The "reduction"
That is certainly happening
Oh please,
I've mocked
And disagreed
With how he had to put out a fleece
But I understand now
The desperation
Please
Send a sign
Of Your deliverance coming
Of help on the way somehow
This
Is just too
Impossible
Help Lord!
You have got to be kidding me
My "strength"
Is truly limited!
And it will be like fighting one man--really?
Is that for me too?
The "reduction"
That is certainly happening
Oh please,
I've mocked
And disagreed
With how he had to put out a fleece
But I understand now
The desperation
Please
Send a sign
Of Your deliverance coming
Of help on the way somehow
This
Is just too
Impossible
Help Lord!
Some People Live "Lite," part 2
It's a mystery
A paradox
You ask me to carry a cross
You ask me to die
These things seem
All very heavy and hard
And yet you say,
"Come to me...
Let me teach you...
My burden is light"
Hard and yet "light"
Heavy and yet "light"
May I not balk
Not complain
At the heaviness of the task
The weight of the burden
And yet may I somehow learn
(and I have already learned some!)
To bear the load
Apparently Your "yoke"
Is not a task, but a tool
A way of working
that fits
And it has to do with rest*
But there is still a "burden"
That sounds like a task
And it is light
The result
It seems to me
Will be work done
With joy
Peaceful
Not anxious
Hopeful
Seeing all Your blessings
I think this is what Your "light" looks like
But I have not yet learned to live it
Teach me Lord
*Thanks to Mark Buchanan--messages given at Break Forth 2013 and in the book The Rest of God for the "yoke" thoughts.
A paradox
You ask me to carry a cross
You ask me to die
These things seem
All very heavy and hard
And yet you say,
"Come to me...
Let me teach you...
My burden is light"
Hard and yet "light"
Heavy and yet "light"
May I not balk
Not complain
At the heaviness of the task
The weight of the burden
And yet may I somehow learn
(and I have already learned some!)
To bear the load
Apparently Your "yoke"
Is not a task, but a tool
A way of working
that fits
And it has to do with rest*
But there is still a "burden"
That sounds like a task
And it is light
The result
It seems to me
Will be work done
With joy
Peaceful
Not anxious
Hopeful
Seeing all Your blessings
I think this is what Your "light" looks like
But I have not yet learned to live it
Teach me Lord
*Thanks to Mark Buchanan--messages given at Break Forth 2013 and in the book The Rest of God for the "yoke" thoughts.
Some People Live "Lite," part 1
I have watched them sometimes
They live "lite," unencumbered
Take on projects
One at a time
One semester at a time
Move often
Change programs
All still within the same, grand, big picture
But keep things
Simple and free
Every time I have started something
New and fresh
In a new place
I, too, have felt "lite"
Unencumbered
Like the task was manageable
There was energy for it
Maybe it is what You've called them to
And there are definitely some things
I could learn from them
Ways of thinking
Ways of doing
But basically
You have led me to something else
I take on multi-year projects
Lifetime tasks
And the burden, the complication
Is great
Sometimes
I would like to break free
The burden feels so heavy
And I do so poorly at diligence
In the midst of the long, daily grind
Maybe that is what you're trying to teach me
Maybe this is my training
Some people live lite
I don't
Sometimes I wonder if I should
Sometimes I see
That it is just a different road
With different costs
Different challenges
And it feels very heavy right now
They live "lite," unencumbered
Take on projects
One at a time
One semester at a time
Move often
Change programs
All still within the same, grand, big picture
But keep things
Simple and free
Every time I have started something
New and fresh
In a new place
I, too, have felt "lite"
Unencumbered
Like the task was manageable
There was energy for it
Maybe it is what You've called them to
And there are definitely some things
I could learn from them
Ways of thinking
Ways of doing
But basically
You have led me to something else
I take on multi-year projects
Lifetime tasks
And the burden, the complication
Is great
Sometimes
I would like to break free
The burden feels so heavy
And I do so poorly at diligence
In the midst of the long, daily grind
Maybe that is what you're trying to teach me
Maybe this is my training
Some people live lite
I don't
Sometimes I wonder if I should
Sometimes I see
That it is just a different road
With different costs
Different challenges
And it feels very heavy right now
Can You Not Trust Me?
I can still the storm
I created you
I have led you this far
Time and again, I have provided
I have promised to always be with you
To never leave you nor forsake you
I have promised this to you
Again and again
And I have proven it to you
Again and again
Today, these days
I am speaking to you
Yes, it is Me
I am speaking
You have learned to hear My voice
You are My sheep, My child
You know My voice
And follow
There are many things before you
Many options
You're overwhelmed
Confused
Scared
You doubt you've heard
You doubt your ability
You don't want to be a fool
But neither do you want to miss this
You don't want to miss the possibility
The potential
You offered your life to me
To use for My glory
I'm taking it
I'm going to use it
I will do mighty things
That you may or may not see
But
Can you not trust me?
Put away your fear
Live in my love
Live in my joy
Live free
Can you not trust me...
For the deepest longings of your heart
To be with you and guide you every step of the way
To watch over and protect you
To provide all you need
the people you need
the strength you need
the insight you need
all the resources you need
the way through
That I am leading you and using you
even when you can't see it
Beyond all your fears
Beyond your weaknesses
Beyond the ways you have failed in the past
Beyond any way you could fail in the future
Trust me with your life
Trust me with your days
Trust me each moment
I am your God
I am your Father
I will be faithful to you
I will always be faithful to you
I will never leave you
I will never abandon you
I love you and will watch over you
I will guide you with My righteous right hand
I will hold you and protect you
You are mine
Trust me
Put away your fear
Live in my love
Live in my joy
Live free
"The Lord is with you, mighty woman of valour....Go with the strength you have...I am sending you....I will be with you."
"You are such a soldier, and the Father is really with you."
Do not be afraid
I created you
I have led you this far
Time and again, I have provided
I have promised to always be with you
To never leave you nor forsake you
I have promised this to you
Again and again
And I have proven it to you
Again and again
Today, these days
I am speaking to you
Yes, it is Me
I am speaking
You have learned to hear My voice
You are My sheep, My child
You know My voice
And follow
There are many things before you
Many options
You're overwhelmed
Confused
Scared
You doubt you've heard
You doubt your ability
You don't want to be a fool
But neither do you want to miss this
You don't want to miss the possibility
The potential
You offered your life to me
To use for My glory
I'm taking it
I'm going to use it
I will do mighty things
That you may or may not see
But
Can you not trust me?
Put away your fear
Live in my love
Live in my joy
Live free
Can you not trust me...
For the deepest longings of your heart
To be with you and guide you every step of the way
To watch over and protect you
To provide all you need
the people you need
the strength you need
the insight you need
all the resources you need
the way through
That I am leading you and using you
even when you can't see it
Beyond all your fears
Beyond your weaknesses
Beyond the ways you have failed in the past
Beyond any way you could fail in the future
Trust me with your life
Trust me with your days
Trust me each moment
I am your God
I am your Father
I will be faithful to you
I will always be faithful to you
I will never leave you
I will never abandon you
I love you and will watch over you
I will guide you with My righteous right hand
I will hold you and protect you
You are mine
Trust me
Put away your fear
Live in my love
Live in my joy
Live free
"The Lord is with you, mighty woman of valour....Go with the strength you have...I am sending you....I will be with you."
"You are such a soldier, and the Father is really with you."
Do not be afraid
Christ the King
Prayer for Christ the King Sunday
Almighty and everlasting God, whose will it is to restore all things in your well-beloved Son, the King of kings and Lord of lords: Mercifully grant that the peoples of the earth, divided and enslaved by sin, may be freed and brought together under his most gracious rule; who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.
----------------
Luke 8:22-56
Jesus, You are King over the storms, King over demons, King over sickness, and even King over death. All the storms that arise, You can wake up and still them, then turn and look at me and say, "Where is your faith?" "Where is my faith?" Didn't I turn to You for help in it? Ah, yes, but it was more out of desperation. I wasn't really convinced you would calm the storm and see me through. King Jesus--Your heart is to free, and to heal, and to give life.
And You make demands on us
You demand more faith
And you demand that faith be recognized, commended
To the woman--You demanded she acknowledge
You wanted her to be seen and known
You wanted her to own her story of weakness, failure, healing and mercy
----------------
Jesus, the storms have come
The boat looks like it's sinking
Save us, please, we're going to drown
Where's my faith?
I believe
Help my unbelief
Cast out of me all that is evil and vile
Cleanse me
These demons within
My constant companions
Intrinsically mine
I so don't want them
Yet am helpless to free myself
The failure, the pain
I have come crawling to You for healing
I wanted, I thought, a quiet healing
But, NO, You demand so much more
You demand I stand
For all to see
Head held high
That my story
That Your mercy, healing and love
Be known
And so, that which is my shame
I share
That they, too, might know
Things dead
Dreams long forgotten
Hope...so long "sleeping"
Even that
Are You coming to
Resurrect?
It's laughable
(Sometimes laughing
Is easier than hoping)
Do what You will
The miracle
Astound us
Astound me
And bring them out alive
Almighty and everlasting God, whose will it is to restore all things in your well-beloved Son, the King of kings and Lord of lords: Mercifully grant that the peoples of the earth, divided and enslaved by sin, may be freed and brought together under his most gracious rule; who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.
----------------
Luke 8:22-56
Jesus, You are King over the storms, King over demons, King over sickness, and even King over death. All the storms that arise, You can wake up and still them, then turn and look at me and say, "Where is your faith?" "Where is my faith?" Didn't I turn to You for help in it? Ah, yes, but it was more out of desperation. I wasn't really convinced you would calm the storm and see me through. King Jesus--Your heart is to free, and to heal, and to give life.
And You make demands on us
You demand more faith
And you demand that faith be recognized, commended
To the woman--You demanded she acknowledge
You wanted her to be seen and known
You wanted her to own her story of weakness, failure, healing and mercy
----------------
Jesus, the storms have come
The boat looks like it's sinking
Save us, please, we're going to drown
Where's my faith?
I believe
Help my unbelief
Cast out of me all that is evil and vile
Cleanse me
These demons within
My constant companions
Intrinsically mine
I so don't want them
Yet am helpless to free myself
The failure, the pain
I have come crawling to You for healing
I wanted, I thought, a quiet healing
But, NO, You demand so much more
You demand I stand
For all to see
Head held high
That my story
That Your mercy, healing and love
Be known
And so, that which is my shame
I share
That they, too, might know
Things dead
Dreams long forgotten
Hope...so long "sleeping"
Even that
Are You coming to
Resurrect?
It's laughable
(Sometimes laughing
Is easier than hoping)
Do what You will
The miracle
Astound us
Astound me
And bring them out alive
I Wish...
I wish...
Margaret Becker was still writing and singing new songs.
Bill Watterson was still producing new Calvin and Hobbes comics
(though I totally respect that he stopped)
What I really wish
is that joy would come more easily
that daily life wouldn't be such a struggle
that hope would wouldn't take so much work to grasp and HOLD
I guess I wish
life would be easy
and I would be inspired
all the time
(Random, light musings--written Oct. 6, 2013)
Margaret Becker was still writing and singing new songs.
Bill Watterson was still producing new Calvin and Hobbes comics
(though I totally respect that he stopped)
What I really wish
is that joy would come more easily
that daily life wouldn't be such a struggle
that hope would wouldn't take so much work to grasp and HOLD
I guess I wish
life would be easy
and I would be inspired
all the time
(Random, light musings--written Oct. 6, 2013)
Letting go
Why is it so hard to let go
some things
some people
past failures
unresolved situations
conflicts
Is it just in me
Or in all of us
This need
or at least a deep desire
for closure
resolution
situations clear all around
understanding of what really went on
knowledge that it's all okay
nothing left unresolved
And yet, so many times
the final and complete resolution
is not within my power
(Written Sept. 30, 2013--and so I sought resolution..)
some things
some people
past failures
unresolved situations
conflicts
Is it just in me
Or in all of us
This need
or at least a deep desire
for closure
resolution
situations clear all around
understanding of what really went on
knowledge that it's all okay
nothing left unresolved
And yet, so many times
the final and complete resolution
is not within my power
(Written Sept. 30, 2013--and so I sought resolution..)
Unfailing Love
Praise the Lord...
The unfailing love of the Lord fills the earth.
Ps. 33:2, 5 NLT
Ps. 33:2, 5 NLT
I will praise
I will keep looking for this love of Yours
That fills the earth
I will look for it
I will expect to find it
Where is Your love?
How can I see it?
I see it easily in acts of kindness
Justice and righteousness
Sometimes I see the beauty of Your creation
But I don't quite get the connection
Between creation, and love
Teach me Lord
Show me
Help me discover
Bring to mind the verses
The truths
That will help me see and remember
Each day
That Your love surrounds me
The day is dreary
Clouds cover the sky
But above the clouds
There is a blue sky
And a warm sun
Your sun shines
Your rain falls
On all creation
Both the righteous and the unrighteous
Maybe this is how the earth
Is full of Your love
Winter comes
Death
But so comes spring
And new life
My Christmas cactus
Shows that sometimes beauty
And life
Is born out of
Darkness and cold
And hardship
Is this also Your love
Filling the earth
I will praise
I will keep looking for this love of Yours
That fills the earth
I will look for it
I will expect to find it
Every day
Every day I must come again
Learn again
Start over again
Somehow
Every day
I must remember again
That You love me
That Your plans are good
Somehow
Every day
I must find myself
Once again
Rooted in You
Established in Your love
Trusting You
Why do I forget
How can I remember
What goes wrong
That I so quickly despair
That my heart is so quickly unsettled
Today again
I come
I choose
Once again
To put my hope in Your unfailing love
To look to You
To look for You
To rest in You
Thank You
Today
Again
You will be faithful to me
For You have never forsaken
Those who put their trust
In Your unfailing love
Learn again
Start over again
Somehow
Every day
I must remember again
That You love me
That Your plans are good
Somehow
Every day
I must find myself
Once again
Rooted in You
Established in Your love
Trusting You
Why do I forget
How can I remember
What goes wrong
That I so quickly despair
That my heart is so quickly unsettled
Today again
I come
I choose
Once again
To put my hope in Your unfailing love
To look to You
To look for You
To rest in You
Thank You
Today
Again
You will be faithful to me
For You have never forsaken
Those who put their trust
In Your unfailing love
Processing--vision, and fear
God, what is it?
What is that thing so big,
so important,
that I simply must do it?
What is it that is so wrong with the world,
wrong with the current situation,
that I simply must spend my life to see it change,
the "Not on my watch" will this continue?
Please, clarify my vision,
narrow my focus.
And what is it I'm afraid of?
What is holding me back?
Help me see clearly
the fear that stands in the way,
that I might name it
and push through it.
Who cares if I will fail
I will fail
Time and again
I embrace the failure
As opportunity to adjust
And try again
What is that thing so big,
so important,
that I simply must do it?
What is it that is so wrong with the world,
wrong with the current situation,
that I simply must spend my life to see it change,
the "Not on my watch" will this continue?
Please, clarify my vision,
narrow my focus.
And what is it I'm afraid of?
What is holding me back?
Help me see clearly
the fear that stands in the way,
that I might name it
and push through it.
Who cares if I will fail
I will fail
Time and again
I embrace the failure
As opportunity to adjust
And try again
Waiting still...
What does it mean...
Since ancient times no one has heard,
no ear has perceived,
no eye has seen any God besides you,
who acts on behalf of those who wait for him.
Isa. 64:4
I am waiting for You
Waiting on You
How will You act on my behalf?
Since ancient times no one has heard,
no ear has perceived,
no eye has seen any God besides you,
who acts on behalf of those who wait for him.
Isa. 64:4
I am waiting for You
Waiting on You
How will You act on my behalf?
Remember Your Love
How do I forget so
easily
How can I STOP
forgetting
How can I learn to
constantly remember
That You really do
love me
Your love
It’s everything
My joy
My hope
My purpose in living
It’s what I have
The only thing I have
To share with anyone
It’s the only reason
I can face anyone
Face the world
In spite of my failure
and shortcomings
And You have proven
Your love
Again and again
In history
In the countless times
and ways
You have whispered it
to my soul
In the ways You have
Provided
And guided
All the days of my
life
So why do I doubt
Why do I forget
How can I stop
forgetting
It came slamming at me
this morning
In the resistance I
felt to that prayer
Resisting the “giving
You everything”
Only “Your love and
Your grace”
As enough
Ah, it disturbed me
What I saw inside my
heart
Thankfully
You showed me again
It didn’t take long
A simple review
A trip down memory
lane
Revisiting things You’ve
said
Along this journey
And everything changed
As I remember Your
great love for me
Your promises to be
with me always
How You have never
broken that promise
You have never give me
reason to doubt You
And yet I forget so
quickly
Oh, I’m sorry Lord
How can I remember
How can I keep
remembering
Somehow…
I think “contemplating
the love of God”
Needs to become a part
of my morning ritual
Every day
And then I need to revisit
during the day
And in examen at night
Until my life is so
formed by it
Until I am so utterly
filled with joy
Unshakeable joy
Overflowing joy
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
