Maybe (Remembering the Journey)

(Remembering the Journey--written Aug. 5, 2012)

Maybe it's just the same thing again
Just me needing
Once again 
to learn to regain joy

Not sure why this happens
Maybe I was just 
Born on the ornery side
the pessimistic
the negative
and the 'oh how can this be?' side

Or maybe it is the opposite
I somehow thought it would all be easy
That relationships and life 
Would all work out quite simply

But, like I said, "again"
I've been here before
2007, notably...then a line in a book rocked my world
Taught me to look for God's kingdom here and now
In the struggle
Not after getting through it
To ask to experience 
The fullness of God 
In my life now
Not just endurance to get through

But...I haven't been doing that lately
I had forgotten
That You are here
In the midst of the struggle
I've not trusted You
To show a way through
With joy and strength for each day
So I haven't fully turned to You
Throughout each day
I've run
To distractions
That fill time, 
And fill my mind
And help me to not think
And yet do not satisfy


"Remembering the Journey"--posts discovered in 'drafts'. Posted now for me to remember...remember the journey...where we have been, where He has brought me...