When it gets hard, I want to give up!

When it gets hard, I want to give up!
And yet I know that is irresponsible
And I can't 
And I shouldn't
Afterall, I'm a responsible person

So I find a million other ways
I'm subtle
I think no one will notice
Or that my Father won't notice

Procrastination by doing other things is an old
and well-practised strategy
Now I get lost in other things
Internet, blogs, reading

I wonder if I really even know how
To press in
To press on
Press in...to God
To what He really wants to say
To learn how He really sees it
And how He will give strength and wisdom
And perspective
In the thing that is hard

But the perspective doesn't come easily
Sometimes doesn't seem to come at all
And all stays hard
So I find ways to run
To give up
If only temporarily

Oh God...thank You
You love me still
You still want to be with me
And still prepare a place
Where someday You will bring me to be with You

Teach me
To properly press on
To press in
To lean in to You
In the things that are hard