It is: staying up too late, not getting my butt in gear to get to bed.
It has been my habit for as long as I can remember--junior high maybe.
In my heart, I think I used to take pride in the 'all-nighters', mock or somewhat despise those who lived such disciplined lives that they couldn't do them.
Late nights caused seriously embarrassing trouble twice--when I slept through the alarm the next day for work. Oh ,I have done that more than twice, but there were two times that were very embarassing (radio operator in Forestry--the whole forest knew about it--22 towers, the pilots that were to be flying...the dispatch officers)...bad... There were other times too--thinking about them now, ooh, feel bad about that.
The lack of discipline and late nights have, for many years, made it hard to get up in the morning.
Only in the past two or three years, have I seen the serious need to spend time with the Lord in the morning, and the need to go to bed earlier for that. Only in the past two or three years have I seen the connection between a regular earlier night's sleep, and regular better productivity at work. It has been a serious goal to have more and more nights in bed before midnight. I DO now regularly have more and more nights in bed before midnight.
But I do fall of the bandwagon. I do still have some late nights. And there are some nights where I go to bed in plenty of time, but then have a hard time sleeping--thinking so much, processing, finding it hard to lay things down. This last kind--I'm learning, but I consider them a little more out of my realm of control.
In the last couple of weeks I have been going to bed later than needed, but for no good reason. I just go online, read some articles, check out FB, kill a couple of hours before going to bed. "Kill" time--I hate that thought...I wasn't intending to, but I did kill it, waste it.
Today, thanks to Ann Voskamp, I read an article by Tim Keller, Wisdom and Sabbath Rest. Good stuff. Take a read.
And how I realized this waste of time really is serious?
The verse, Ephesians 5:15-17:
"Be very careful, then, how you live--not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is."
Then the comment that the KJV translates with the line "redeeming the time". Keller says, "Living wisely (or circumspectly) is to a great degree a matter of how we spend our time." And later he points out:
"Time-stewardship is a command!"
Oh Lord, I am so sorry. I see it now. I so often take this way too lightly. Experience is already telling me, and Your Word is telling me...it is a serious matter for consideration, and action! Lord have mercy. Lord forgive. Lord, I seek to live in obedience.