This kind of rest, after this kind of week, is not really rest, it's really just a crash. Oh it is definitely needed, and I will certainly feel better and be better able to face the next week, but this is not the best way to live my life.
I'm learning, in stages, what is needed for living a good life--a life that lives out the best version of me. I have learned that I need to set aside days of rest, of sabbath, days of absolutely no work. But I have also been learning that is not enough. I also need to control the work on the days before. When I get to the rest day, and all I can do is crash--where there is not much energy for reading my Bible, or other things that inspire, or to journal or think--I do not gain the soul rest that is most needed. On this kind of weekend, the first day is just...veg, sleep, read only the lightest material. By the end of the day, I almost start to feel alive again. Then, if there is ANOTHER day off, maybe on that day I can really enter in to an even deeper and soul refreshing rest, where I feel like I can and am actually hearing from God.
So today I crash. No guilt in that, I'm thankful for the chance to catch up on sleep. But I also look towards next week, and the following weeks. How can I better prioritize? What do I need to say no to? How can I keep the work hours to just 40-50? Then the rest and the personal time, will be more deeply refreshing, and...not even mentioned yet, will give time for some of the housework and baking that also refreshes in its own unique way.