I caught myself again today. I had to tell myself to stop saying, or thinking, "I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I just want it to be over and done!"
It is nothing major, for some people, just finding new rental space, negotiating and signing contracts. I just wish I never had to do this sort of thing ever in my life again. I hate it. Oh...there it is again. Stop it!
Ah...
I first read this 3 years ago. I'm still trying to digest it, and learn to live it:
"We must accept the circumstances we constantly find ourselves in as the place of God's kingdom and blessing. God has yet to bless anyone except where they actually are, and if we faithlessly discard situation after situation, moment after moment, as not being 'right,' we will simply have no place to receive his kingdom into our life. For those situations and moments are our life." (Dallas Willard, The Divine Conspiracy, pp. 348-349)
So, Lord, today I have come to you again and again, panic and all, trying to be willing to learn, trying to figure out how to see this. I'm not as angry and frustrated at You as I used to sometimes be, wondering, "Why do I have to do this?" I don't know how you saw it all in the end today, but I pray it was somehow a process of receiving Your kingdom.
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