Who am I?

Who am I
Who am I really
In your eyes...

I have heard the voices
Again and again
Echoing through my years
There are so many reflections
The things they say
The things I want to hear
The things I don't
The things some people see
The things I wish others would
The parts of me I've only discovered in recent years
The parts I'm just learning to dare to be

I'm verbal, wordy
It drives people crazy
I'm so ashamed and sensitive
It blesses many
I'm thankful

I'm deep, intense
It blows people away
Tires them out
Tires ME out
Yet inspires

I'm driven
For more
To grow
To never stop
To question
To wonder
To never be satisfied with the way things are
To jump in to "what's not being done"
To rescue
To help
To fight for hope
To wake people up
To be more
Even knowing I'll never arrive
...I drive myself crazy

I enjoy life
I don't really think about what to "do for fun"
Fun is had everywhere

I'm a loner
Yet I need people
I want to connect
Yet I don't know how

I love you purely and fully
Yet I deceive myself

Who am I to You
Who do You say I am
I am the one You love
The one who always comes running back
The one who doesn't give up,
But keeps hanging on to Your hand
The hand that is holding me
I am Your beloved, the lily among the thorns
Planted in a very hard place
But beautiful and fragrant to You

I am the one not afraid to enter the pain
The pain that You have seen
I am one guided, all the while so unaware
Walking steady, though it feels so wobbly
Standing firm, with what looks like falling

I am the one loved
In the middle of my clutter
and brokenness
and confusion

I am the one who trusts You
Into the unknown and impossible
And yet I am the one who stresses and doubts
Even though you've supplied and provided
Again and again and again

Oh Jesus,
Tell me...
Who am I
Who am I really
In Your eyes
Who am I?

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