Joy is BMW

That's what it said--the huge ad on the side of a skyscraper in Bangkok. I did not get to try out a BMW to see if it brought joy, but imagined... Ah, driving a nice car--might be fun, but joy? uh...don't think so.

"A cup of happiness" said the gourmet coffee machine at McDonald's.  Now that I did try. The coffee was okay, but happiness?

Nope, not what I'm looking for when I say I want JOY

I want to 
...wake up with a smile on my face and hope in my heart. with a knowing that I am loved, even when trials and opposition comes.
...sing, at least in my heart, even while knowing there is evil all around.
...have conversations where I completely forget myself--where I am completely free to care for and love the other, and completely free to walk away unbound, regardless of their response.

It's an undaunted optimism.
It's a hope in God and His goodness, even when I cannot see.
It's a steadiness in knowing who I am, but not in the eyes of other people.

I want joy, sourced only in my God, to become deeply rooted in my soul, and become one of the main things I am known for.  I am not there yet, but I want to go there.

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