I called it "Enjoying the Journey." I thought I was. I thought I did. I thought I lived a life of choosing joy. I wanted to. I really did.
Lately though my journal has said, "Please, Give me back my joy," and I've found myself looking for and lurking at blogs that talk about Recovering Joy.
I re-read earlier posts on this blog. I like them. They bring joy...well, some.
So, I am on a quest again. Perhaps it is still the same quest--a life joyfully lived. These days I'm quite far it seems. Joy is hard to come by, harder to choose. And I find I often ... don't give joy, and then that brings tears, of regret.
But I have a God, I know a Shepherd, who is a giver of joy. I know a God who loves me no matter what state of success or failure I find myself in. In it all He finds me, He loves me, and He holds out a hope and a future that I do not know and that I have not yet attained.
Through this valley, He will guide. He will not let me go.
May I be refined. May I be deeply changed (it is so needed).
And someday, may I live in joy again.
Natural, easy-flowing, contagious, authentic ... joy.