I thought...

I called it "Enjoying the Journey."  I thought I was.  I thought I did.  I thought I lived a life of choosing joy.  I wanted to.  I really did.

Lately though my journal has said, "Please, Give me back my joy," and I've found myself looking for and lurking at blogs that talk about Recovering Joy.

I re-read earlier posts on this blog.  I like them.  They bring joy...well, some.

So, I am on a quest again.  Perhaps it is still the same quest--a life joyfully lived.  These days I'm quite far it seems.  Joy is hard to come by, harder to choose.  And I find I often ... don't give joy, and then that brings tears, of regret.

But I have a God, I know a Shepherd, who is a giver of joy.  I know a God who loves me no matter what state of success or failure I find myself in.  In it all He finds me, He loves me, and He holds out a hope and a future that I do not know and that I have not yet attained. 

Through this valley, He will guide.  He will not let me go.  

May I be refined.  May I be deeply changed (it is so needed).

And someday, may I live in joy again.

Natural, easy-flowing, contagious, authentic ... joy.