It hurts so much
I couldn't have imagined this pain
Do I regret having come here?
Do I want to stay open for more pain?
I don't know the end of the story
And, are there are some endings for which I would say,
"Yes, the pain is worth it"?
In the end
Can it be not about "pain"
But about how You led?
If I could hear You
If I know You are in this
If I know that I'm responding to Your direction
Then I can (maybe, hopefully!) trust
That it is part of Your forming
I'm not hearing You much or very well these days
I'm not sensing, or feeling much Your presence
When I do
But I've learned my feelings are not the truth
Whether or not I feel
I can choose to trust
I choose to remember Your promises
You are here
You are guiding
You've promised to not let my foot slip
Could it be You are guiding even now,
Even when it feels like I'm slipping all over the place?
It could be
And so I wait...