God, take my life
Let it be broken before You
Broken, Renewed, Energized
I have not yet lived a life
that shows Your glory
Make something of it that is big and powerful
Beyond normal
Make it spectacular
So that the only explanation...is You
So that they really do see You
How great You are
How powerful
No! More!
How incredibly loving You are
Show Your beauty
Show Your grace
Show Your mercy
Always loving
Always reaching
You...coming into our brokennes
and when You come
we feel no shame
Just Your love
Your acceptance
Your way through
Take me Lord and use me
May my life show Your Glory
My life has not yet shown Your glory
To this broken dying world
Take my life
and may this prayer be more than
passion and tears today
as I'm feeling it
but work out into every day action...
Dec. 17, 2013
A New Day
I wake to a new day
(well, actually, got a late start waking to a new day)
And there is nothing in me that wants to
Lean into my work
Lean into responsibility
Lean into the tasks that must be done
To be Your faithful child this day
God, I'm so glad You're far more faithful than I
I ...
Well
You know who I am
You know what this is with me
You know
And still You love
I ...
A tear trickles down one cheek
I ...
Wish it was different
Know I'll regret it even more
If I follow through on my feelings this day
So ...
Here I am
I ...
Turn to You
Talk to You about it
"Waste" even more time
(Is this just another ploy to procrastinate--
A more "spiritual" way to put off my work?)
David said,
As soon as I pray, you answer me;
you encourage me by giving me strength.*
So...
This is my prayer
This is my call for help
This is my turning to You for strength
Please, help me this day Lord,
This week
It's more than my heart wants to face
I so easily lose sight of Your goodness
Your blessing
Your help that is on the way
I so easily despair
Forget the goal
Forget the good that will happen
If only I do not give up
*Ps. 138:3, NLT
Songs to bring me back...
(well, actually, got a late start waking to a new day)
And there is nothing in me that wants to
Lean into my work
Lean into responsibility
Lean into the tasks that must be done
To be Your faithful child this day
God, I'm so glad You're far more faithful than I
I ...
Well
You know who I am
You know what this is with me
You know
And still You love
I ...
A tear trickles down one cheek
I ...
Wish it was different
Know I'll regret it even more
If I follow through on my feelings this day
So ...
Here I am
I ...
Turn to You
Talk to You about it
"Waste" even more time
(Is this just another ploy to procrastinate--
A more "spiritual" way to put off my work?)
David said,
As soon as I pray, you answer me;
you encourage me by giving me strength.*
So...
This is my prayer
This is my call for help
This is my turning to You for strength
Please, help me this day Lord,
This week
It's more than my heart wants to face
I so easily lose sight of Your goodness
Your blessing
Your help that is on the way
I so easily despair
Forget the goal
Forget the good that will happen
If only I do not give up
*Ps. 138:3, NLT
Songs to bring me back...
Lay Me Down
10,000 Reasons
Wandering.. back
Jesus,
It's been a busy week. You have been here through all of it. You've led, prompted, I've continued to notice themes--You speaking to me. Yet, right now, I'm scattered, feeling a little distant, not centered. Too many nights not prompt to shut down and get to bed, leading to shortened or tired mornings.
I'm not truly sure where I am in the evaluation of my days. Certainly there are ways in which I've not measured up to your call to faithfulness and diligence. And yet, there is growth, there is a choosing to trust, believe, act, and see what You do. And You DO act, You DO provide.
But...I'm "off" now. Off-kilter. Off-balance. Off-schedule. Off-center.
Thank You Lord...tomorrow is free. Tomorrow can be rest, and worship, and coming back--to being centered in You.
Please...guide my sleeping, and my waking. The thoughts that come, the choices I make.
Please, bring me back to what is most important, for the day, the week, this time, this season, for me, for those around me.
Please, renew, revive, re-focus.
Thank You--You will. You are. You do.
Thank You--You are with me now. You love. Your grace and mercy and compassion never end.
It's been a busy week. You have been here through all of it. You've led, prompted, I've continued to notice themes--You speaking to me. Yet, right now, I'm scattered, feeling a little distant, not centered. Too many nights not prompt to shut down and get to bed, leading to shortened or tired mornings.
I'm not truly sure where I am in the evaluation of my days. Certainly there are ways in which I've not measured up to your call to faithfulness and diligence. And yet, there is growth, there is a choosing to trust, believe, act, and see what You do. And You DO act, You DO provide.
But...I'm "off" now. Off-kilter. Off-balance. Off-schedule. Off-center.
Thank You Lord...tomorrow is free. Tomorrow can be rest, and worship, and coming back--to being centered in You.
Please...guide my sleeping, and my waking. The thoughts that come, the choices I make.
Please, bring me back to what is most important, for the day, the week, this time, this season, for me, for those around me.
Please, renew, revive, re-focus.
Thank You--You will. You are. You do.
Thank You--You are with me now. You love. Your grace and mercy and compassion never end.
Wrecked
How can I let my heart be "wrecked"--again and again, and moved to action that makes a difference? Somehow I need to learn to remove the clutter of my life, that gets in the way, that bogs down and takes away from most important things.
Do you know--I still haven't followed up on the family of the girl that killed herself in September (mom was dying, a younger brother in Jr high school that probably does not have much emotional support at all)...I looked up some numbers in my phone...I should be able to find them.
Do you know--I have heard rumours of abuse at a junior high school, and in another location (or two) rumours of jr high girls lured into prostitution. I wonder if girls get tricked to come and 'work' at a place right here in town. About these things, as yet, I have done nothing.
Oh sure...I've found some meaningful things to do with my days--help youth walk through their grief, helping a high school girl now figure out how to avoid and what to do about the uncle that wants her to do things he should never ask of her... Guys are hurting, afraid, due to their absent and abusive fathers. A girl wants to hate her mom due to her affair. Yes, for these things, and many more, we are trying to help them find away.
But...there is so much more.
Christ has
No body now on earth but yours;
No hands but yours;
No feet but yours;
Yours are the eyes
Through which is to look out
Christ's compassion to the world;
Yours are the feet
With which he is to go about
Doing good;
Yours are the hands
With which he is to bless now.
--Saint Teresa of Avila
Jesus, I repent, again, still
I suppose there will be many more times of repentance
For the foolish ways in which I spend my days
The gifts I throw away
The pain from which I turn away
Lest it too inconvenience my life
Make me Yours
Fully Yours
You, are not okay with these things still happening in our world
I should not be okay with it either
Change me
Open my eyes
Show me the way through
Strengthen me
May my life somehow be spent
That more good
And less of this evil and pain
Exists in my little corner of the planet
The corner You've entrusted me to walk
Oh you who read this...don't applaud me. Don't say this is fine and grand. Words and passion are nothing without action. God alone knows how much I have really done in comparison to how much I have been given. And don't either tell me that I'm being too hard on myself. This is not condemnation, I am free of that in Jesus Christ (Thank you, Lord!), but rather a calling, an invitation, that connects with what, in the end, I really most want out of life.
(Bill Hybel's message Holy Discontent has many times been an encouragement to "let it wreck" me. Jeff Goins' book Wrecked: When a Broken World Slams into Your Comfortable Life, looks like a good one to gently invite a life of more self-sacrifice.)
Do you know--I still haven't followed up on the family of the girl that killed herself in September (mom was dying, a younger brother in Jr high school that probably does not have much emotional support at all)...I looked up some numbers in my phone...I should be able to find them.
Do you know--I have heard rumours of abuse at a junior high school, and in another location (or two) rumours of jr high girls lured into prostitution. I wonder if girls get tricked to come and 'work' at a place right here in town. About these things, as yet, I have done nothing.
Oh sure...I've found some meaningful things to do with my days--help youth walk through their grief, helping a high school girl now figure out how to avoid and what to do about the uncle that wants her to do things he should never ask of her... Guys are hurting, afraid, due to their absent and abusive fathers. A girl wants to hate her mom due to her affair. Yes, for these things, and many more, we are trying to help them find away.
But...there is so much more.
Christ has
No body now on earth but yours;
No hands but yours;
No feet but yours;
Yours are the eyes
Through which is to look out
Christ's compassion to the world;
Yours are the feet
With which he is to go about
Doing good;
Yours are the hands
With which he is to bless now.
--Saint Teresa of Avila
Jesus, I repent, again, still
I suppose there will be many more times of repentance
For the foolish ways in which I spend my days
The gifts I throw away
The pain from which I turn away
Lest it too inconvenience my life
Make me Yours
Fully Yours
You, are not okay with these things still happening in our world
I should not be okay with it either
Change me
Open my eyes
Show me the way through
Strengthen me
May my life somehow be spent
That more good
And less of this evil and pain
Exists in my little corner of the planet
The corner You've entrusted me to walk
Oh you who read this...don't applaud me. Don't say this is fine and grand. Words and passion are nothing without action. God alone knows how much I have really done in comparison to how much I have been given. And don't either tell me that I'm being too hard on myself. This is not condemnation, I am free of that in Jesus Christ (Thank you, Lord!), but rather a calling, an invitation, that connects with what, in the end, I really most want out of life.
(Bill Hybel's message Holy Discontent has many times been an encouragement to "let it wreck" me. Jeff Goins' book Wrecked: When a Broken World Slams into Your Comfortable Life, looks like a good one to gently invite a life of more self-sacrifice.)
An Army, Please
A friend once told me, I'd need an army for all the things I want to see happen. The ideas are coming again, fast and furious. Lord, please send an army! Of course this is a peaceful army, it means a lot of people, but...they need to be smart and skilled, because I'm not. The only part I can play is pointing out the need, building and fanning some fires. Lord, send people with the smarts to organize, and strategize and find the resources, and the courage and stamina to persist even through failure and brick walls.
We need a whole lot of people. There is so much that needs to be done:
And...what am I supposed to do? What role would/should I play? What kind of life, and life availability (tasks ON the plate, tasks OFF the plate) do I need to work towards these things?
Lord, I continue to seek and dream, lead the thoughts and ideas. And until it is time for them, may I learn to be faithful in what is before me now.
We need a whole lot of people. There is so much that needs to be done:
- Sex Ed. for younger students throughout the county
- Homes for the needy--mentally unstable, homeless, elderly, etc.
- The exploitation of girls--junior high girls being lured into prostitution, being abused. We hear rumours. I wonder at some things I have seen. This needs to be investigated.
- Families encouraged, parents trained in parenting
- A counselling centre
- Youth training--skills and character
- What about homes/dorms for students? Even elementary students end up living on their own far from home
- Of course it would be great if there was some vocational training too--agriculture, business skills--training and job opportunities that create income, yet nurture the environment
And...what am I supposed to do? What role would/should I play? What kind of life, and life availability (tasks ON the plate, tasks OFF the plate) do I need to work towards these things?
Lord, I continue to seek and dream, lead the thoughts and ideas. And until it is time for them, may I learn to be faithful in what is before me now.
Now, Get off Your Butt!! (part 2)
This is another thing You want to work on in my life--this laziness of mine. Oh, I know, some who know me would wonder at that--don't I work hard? Don't I work too many hours and push too hard sometimes? Yes, I do that too. They might say, "Are you sometimes too hard on yourself?" Yes, that's a problem sometimes.
But there is another problem I have, one that You and I know, some others do too. It's related to the "busyness" that is really "laziness at the center." And it's about a lack of faithfulness and diligence and discipline in my life. There is work You give me to do, that is related to my gifting, is almost all pleasure, and generally easy to jump to--maybe positive and immediate feedback also helps. But there is also the work that is necessary, hard, requires simple diligence and faithfulness. Too often I leave that work, delay it. I stick with what I feel like doing, not what I should do. That last minute rush I've lived all my life--papers and exams ready at the last minute, preparation at the last minute. When the imminent deadline is upon me I suddenly feel like doing it, and then pour myself into the task.
You want me to learn diligence and faithfulness. Gently you guide, prod, remind.
This week's daily opening invocation (in "the blue book"*) is:
Today's reading from Zephaniah 3:14-20 didn't "say" anything to me this morning, until I first noticed something previously underlined on the next page--Hag. 2:4-5 (NLT, emphasis mine):
So...I turn to my work today, late, not as faithful as I could be, but this week, I have learned some, done better sometimes. Today there is some tedious work--editing Christmas messages to students, revising the agenda for our big evaluation meetings next week (I'll try not to struggle or complain about the '2-language-brain' issues I seem to have.) and then doing some of my own evaluation thinking work.
May this start to work its way into my life...
Thank You. You are faithful. You will keep working on me!
*"the blue book" is my guide for the next year at least, starting Advent (December 1) 2013--its real name is A Guide to Prayer for Ministers and Other Servants." It came highly recommended, and I'm expecting good things!
But there is another problem I have, one that You and I know, some others do too. It's related to the "busyness" that is really "laziness at the center." And it's about a lack of faithfulness and diligence and discipline in my life. There is work You give me to do, that is related to my gifting, is almost all pleasure, and generally easy to jump to--maybe positive and immediate feedback also helps. But there is also the work that is necessary, hard, requires simple diligence and faithfulness. Too often I leave that work, delay it. I stick with what I feel like doing, not what I should do. That last minute rush I've lived all my life--papers and exams ready at the last minute, preparation at the last minute. When the imminent deadline is upon me I suddenly feel like doing it, and then pour myself into the task.
You want me to learn diligence and faithfulness. Gently you guide, prod, remind.
This week's daily opening invocation (in "the blue book"*) is:
Almighty God, who came to us long ago in the birth of Jesus Christ, be born in us anew today by the power of your Holy Spirit. We offer our lives as home to you and ask for grace and strength to live as your faithful, joyful children always. Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.And the closing benediction each day is:
You have been reminded that Jesus Christ is your Lord and that you are God's servant. You are loved; you are forgiven; you are empowered; and now you are sent to live as God's faithful one. AmenEach day I have prayed that I would live faithfully. Each day I have entered the day reminded of what I have been given and having received the charge to "live as God's faithful one."
Today's reading from Zephaniah 3:14-20 didn't "say" anything to me this morning, until I first noticed something previously underlined on the next page--Hag. 2:4-5 (NLT, emphasis mine):
But now the LORD says: 'Be strong, Zerubbabel. Be strong, Jeshua son of Jehozadak, the high priest. Be strong, all you people still left in the land. And now get to work, for I am with you, says the LORD of Heaven's Armies. My Spirit remains among you, just as I promised when you came out of Egypt. So do not be afraid.'Oh this passage has so much of the same things You have been saying to me in other places--"be strong," "don't be afraid," because "I am with you"--but then also adds the "get to work." After reading this, I read the Zephaniah passage again, ah, there in v. 16 is a "Fear not" (again), followed shortly with a "let not your hands grow weak" (keep working, be faithful, GET TO WORK), and before and after that verse God says, in effect, I am with you. "The King of Israel, the LORD, is in your midst" (v. 15), and "The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save" (v. 17).
So...I turn to my work today, late, not as faithful as I could be, but this week, I have learned some, done better sometimes. Today there is some tedious work--editing Christmas messages to students, revising the agenda for our big evaluation meetings next week (I'll try not to struggle or complain about the '2-language-brain' issues I seem to have.) and then doing some of my own evaluation thinking work.
May this start to work its way into my life...
Thank You. You are faithful. You will keep working on me!
*"the blue book" is my guide for the next year at least, starting Advent (December 1) 2013--its real name is A Guide to Prayer for Ministers and Other Servants." It came highly recommended, and I'm expecting good things!
Now, Get off Your Butt!! (part 1)
I'd rather dream and ponder than ACT
Journaling, deep thoughts, intensity
Much more fun that filing
Pretty arrogant, aren't I?
Somehow think I'm above "boring work"
Somehow think I'm exempt from the dirty stuff,
The mess clean-up
Or...I just like to clean up a different kind of mess
Not my own
Not ... papers
Not ... finance reports
Not ... taxes
Get off your butt, girl!
Lead yourself, would you!
Life is about more than just what you WANT to do
Responsibility is doing what you ought to do when you ought to
Get on with it!
Nov. 28, 2013
Journaling, deep thoughts, intensity
Much more fun that filing
Pretty arrogant, aren't I?
Somehow think I'm above "boring work"
Somehow think I'm exempt from the dirty stuff,
The mess clean-up
Or...I just like to clean up a different kind of mess
Not my own
Not ... papers
Not ... finance reports
Not ... taxes
Get off your butt, girl!
Lead yourself, would you!
Life is about more than just what you WANT to do
Responsibility is doing what you ought to do when you ought to
Get on with it!
Nov. 28, 2013
Raw
That's how I am today
Emotionally raw
So much has happened
So much has hit
And I'm bracing for some more "hits" today
Some has been incredibly encouraging
A sense of great things in the air
Some has been incredibly frightening
A sense of impending doom and disaster
I haven't yet learned to trust
I turn to You again
Still
I remember Your love
Your goodness
For this day
Again
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