I started listening to John's writing
As I walked the track this morning
And I wondered about you
I've wondered before but today I wondered again

As soon as I heard the words
That you had come from God
As witness
An incredible longing welled up inside me
A longing to be close to God
To hear His voice
As though you must have known that
With this calling of yours
To know you were chosen,
Had a purpose, and a task

But then I wondered, if you really felt that close
And remembered...later
The doubt and despair you must have felt
As you languished in prison
For you sent your disciples asking
Revealing your doubts

But you had seen amazing things
Much earler, you had heard from God
How to recognize Him
And then it happened
You saw the Spirit land on Him like a dove
And a voice...
On that day, you knew
You really knew
Bet you were so sure of who He was
And why He had come
And how your whole life
Fit in the plan
I wonder if you thought
You would never doubt again

But you did
You doubted
Life became very dark
What were you thinking and feeling
In those very last moments
When they came for you
When you realized you were living your last minutes, seconds
Did a peace, a strength, fill you
Did He come close to comfort
That you would know His presence
I hope so
I wish it were so
I do not doubt God's presence was there
Watching, hurting perhaps
Giving you strength enough
I just don't know if you actually felt it as enough

But it was enough
To endure
Faithful to the end

I guess that's how it goes, doesn't it
This faith journey
Yours and mine
There are times of knowing, being so sure
But even after those times
Crying out to make sense of it all
And no miraculous release

Did the answers satisfy
Was it enough
You asked
He answered
Reminding you of the prophecies
I'd like to think they did
Beautiful, isn't it
He didn't mind your questions
Didn't tell you off for doubting
But answered
I'd like to think the answer received then
Was enough
To strengthen those days
And make it to the end

Yes, that is how it goes
The visions
The hearing
The amazing proofs
Followed by darkness
Little bits of strengthening come
Various ways
Different times
Strength enough to get through that day
And then the next
Barely getting through it seems
Strength enough
Faith enough
To make it to the end

For me there will be
Strength enough
Faith enough
To make it

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