I Pause to Weep...

I pause to weep for her
for her pain

What would it be like? I can't imagine
To have your mom come to town
Lay on your bed, tell you how
A week ago she almost took her life

Well, not sure if she really wanted to take her life
They had been fighting, 
and this story has happened before
Mom and Dad fighting
(Usually he's mad because she keeps needing to take medicine
And it costs money)
He was drunk
And mad
so he said he was going to kill himself
grabbed the bottle of pesticide
She told the kids to stop him
He couldn't open the bottle
The kids couldn't stop him, turn to her
She wrestled it from him
And smashed it on the ground

Then, to shock him
took a rope and started to hang herself 
(story a little fuzzy at this point)
but she fell
and the rope was tight
and she couldn't get free
a neighbour saw
called others
and rescued

but this wasn't the first time
and, other than feeling bad for the kids
she wonders why not

I began pausing to weep for the daughter
but now ... also the father
and mother
and children
father...feels he doesn't get a return on his labour
mother...doesn't know if life is worth it, regrets marrying this man
children...one, when in grade 3, tried to hang herself one day when she was mad

I'm sure they feel much more than all this...
This is the part I heard
I pause to weep...


Stephanie said...

Such deep sadness... It isn't as it should be, ---they are not as He made them to be.

Anonymous said...

Have mercy for we are but dust....Heidi

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