The pull, the choice...

Torn
Pulled
Where will I live?
Where will I focus my attention?

This, I suppose, is the challenge
The NEWer challenge
To find a way, somehow
To focus my attention HERE
Here
  where You have led me
  where I have lived most of my adult years
  where it's become so old and hard
  often it isn't naturally exciting and 'drawing' anymore
But here You have led me
To here I have agreed to commit
At times the vision still feels glorious and grand
At times it isn't 'old'
At times it is still very compelling
There still is much joy
And work that excites
But it doesn't come as naturally anymore
And there are newer and fresher
   attractions
   ideas
That compete, and draw
My attention

So
I must choose
I must choose TODAY
Today, fresh, I must find a way
To look in the face of what I am supposed to do
And make it my focus
My goal
My aim

Today, fresh, I must look away from other things
Today I must do this
And then, tomorrow, remember
And figure out how to do it again

Again and again I must choose
Maybe the "torn" feeling will lessen
Maybe the other "draws" won't be so strong
Maybe it will be a constant battle

But it's not really about here, is it?
It's about You
Somehow staying rooted in You
And then living here
(wherever "here" is at the time)

Ah Jesus
Teach me to live
Rooted in You
And living fully HERE