Paradox, Mystery

You guide along the best paths for my life
   and yet You are the path
I follow You
and You lead and direct
   yet I don't know where I'm going
You speak to me
I know Your voice
and follow
   but half the time I can't tell that I've really heard
   know that I've really followed
but looking back
I see You have led on the best paths

it's foggy again
I remember a whole year of fog
so much doubting
   if the voices I heard
   if their voices were true
   if their accusations were accurate
but yet...I just couldn't...turn
and finally the clarity came
and I realized those hesitations were from You
You had been leading
through the fog

can I trust now
   that I know enough
   that there is enough intuition
   that is really Your voice
to go forward
even making choices that seem
   stupid
   reducing
in the end
will I look back
and see
Your leading

this is the journey
forever longing
for a city
we don't quite reach
for clarity on the journey
for Your guidance
to know You are guiding

it seems an impossible struggle at times
this yearning yet never reaching
walking, yet never seeing
yet You say
You will
walk close beside me
through the darkest valley
never leave me
an orphan
You say
You'll speak
and I will know Your voice
You care for me

will You
will You be present
will I know Your presence
will I hear Your voice
if You will
I could last through anything
for this is truly
my deepest longing
Your presence