Gone

It's gone now

Washed away by the rain

The blood spilled on the pavement last night

All the signs are gone

But still I remember

I want to remember

Don't know how or if I should remember

Don't know what to do with it

It happened so fast

And rather familiar

But the outcome is not always so devastating

I heard from my kitchen

Up here on the 4th floor

A thump

Then, looking out

Saw people running

I too...went to look

Out my office

There on the ground a man

Dark pants, white shirt

Fallen off his motorbike

Guess he had been hit

People were there

Trying to pull him up

A lady with a baby carrier

Worked to pull the motorbike off him

At first I thought he was moving, responding

That the next thing he'd do is struggle to get up

Shake himself, stumble a bit

But get up

But he didn't

He seemed to curl up a bit

And the crowd stepped away

And the dark stain around his head was clear

and huge

Even from the 4th floor

The ambulance came

I didn't see them take him

The last I saw was the spot with all the blood...

and the motorbike still there

Police checking, measuring

And finally ... just the blood was left

But now even that is gone

Washed away by the rain

But him

Is he gone?

Did I watch him go last night?

Or maybe he was gone before I even saw anything?

Did someone lose their husband last night?

Their father?

Or is he still in hospital, struggling to remain?

How should I think about this?

How should I respond?

How should I remember, or not remember?

It's the kind of thing that makes you want to do something

Or feel like you should have

Last night--what did I do?

Whisper a prayer:

     "Lord have mercy" "Lord, help him live"

Make a couple of calls, overcome that "surely someone down there must

     have called an ambulance" thinking, but by the time I got the number 

     and called, the ambulance had arrived

Send a text message to a colleague: "Do you ALWAYS wear a helmet 

     when on your motorbike, even for short distances in town? This is

     what I just saw..."

Lord, bless the man, bless his family

Lord have mercy

Lord have mercy

--The accident: June 3, 2012, around 9 p.m.