Permanent Beta

Michael Hyatt says to "Embrace Permanent Beta and Launch".  There is a sense in which I need to do that more--just DO IT!  Don't wait for it to be perfect and all figured out, it's already pretty good--do it, and twig it as you go.

And yet, there are some ways in which I DO do this, and I'm okay with it.  

These days I'm thinking about how to wrap up this first time through with the students in our final year-long course "Lead Yourself, Lead Others", and especially how to wrap up the "my story" component.  I got the idea a couple of years ago reading Donald Miller's book, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, and started dreaming of how it could be used. Earlier, a professor had led us through a project thinking about our own life themes, using sticky-notes to create a timeline similar to this one. It was so meaningful for me personally, I want others to experience it.

So I started, just jumped in.  

To refresh myself, I looked online again, and got ideas from others. Online--what do you know, Donald Miller had audio resources fleshing out story, and NOW, there is Storyline!  Oh my goodness, what I anticipate doing with students in the future with this, is so much better than what we are doing now. Can hardly wait! But first I have to do the process myself (let's see, would it be possible to do the 2-day conference? or will it be the book, or online group?). And then I need to contact the organization--ask if there is stuff coming in Chinese, or if they have problems with my turning it into Chinese, and then...

But...we're doing it now, we're already doing it.  And ... it is way less complete and powerful than what I imagine the big package deal to be. And it is way less than I imagine we will some day be doing. Maybe we can invite these current students back for the future version some day.

It is way less, but I am doing it.
It is way less, but I think it will be pretty good.  

Yes, permanent beta. Launch, and improve as you go.

It is how our whole program goes.

Btw, blog posts are kind of like this too :o) if I waited for perfection...nothing would ever get posted.
Gee...maybe God does "permanent beta"...now that's another take...(only goes so far...but..)

Gone

It's gone now

Washed away by the rain

The blood spilled on the pavement last night

All the signs are gone

But still I remember

I want to remember

Don't know how or if I should remember

Don't know what to do with it

It happened so fast

And rather familiar

But the outcome is not always so devastating

I heard from my kitchen

Up here on the 4th floor

A thump

Then, looking out

Saw people running

I too...went to look

Out my office

There on the ground a man

Dark pants, white shirt

Fallen off his motorbike

Guess he had been hit

People were there

Trying to pull him up

A lady with a baby carrier

Worked to pull the motorbike off him

At first I thought he was moving, responding

That the next thing he'd do is struggle to get up

Shake himself, stumble a bit

But get up

But he didn't

He seemed to curl up a bit

And the crowd stepped away

And the dark stain around his head was clear

and huge

Even from the 4th floor

The ambulance came

I didn't see them take him

The last I saw was the spot with all the blood...

and the motorbike still there

Police checking, measuring

And finally ... just the blood was left

But now even that is gone

Washed away by the rain

But him

Is he gone?

Did I watch him go last night?

Or maybe he was gone before I even saw anything?

Did someone lose their husband last night?

Their father?

Or is he still in hospital, struggling to remain?

How should I think about this?

How should I respond?

How should I remember, or not remember?

It's the kind of thing that makes you want to do something

Or feel like you should have

Last night--what did I do?

Whisper a prayer:

     "Lord have mercy" "Lord, help him live"

Make a couple of calls, overcome that "surely someone down there must

     have called an ambulance" thinking, but by the time I got the number 

     and called, the ambulance had arrived

Send a text message to a colleague: "Do you ALWAYS wear a helmet 

     when on your motorbike, even for short distances in town? This is

     what I just saw..."

Lord, bless the man, bless his family

Lord have mercy

Lord have mercy

--The accident: June 3, 2012, around 9 p.m.

A Healthy Soul

"...a soul is healthy to the extent that it experiences a strong connection to and receptivity to God."

from Soul Care

These days...focusing on renewing that health--the connection and receptivity.

"Living from a healthy soul does not mean you'll have an easy life...[it] means you remain alive to God, alive to yourself and alive to others, smack in the middle of the ups and down s of life."

Mindy Caliguire, in preview from Discovering Soul Care

How alive to God am I? How can I become more alive to God?

Don't Refuse This

Karen talks about her invitation to the White House, because of her father's death as a soldier in Vietnam, then quotes another:


“I get the invitation every morning when I wake up to actually live a life of complete engagement, a life of whimsy, a life where love does. It doesn’t come in an envelope. It’s ushered in by the sunrise, the sound of a bird, or the smell of coffee driving lazily from the kitchen. It’s the invitation to actually live, to fully participate in this amazing life for one more day. Nobody turns down an invitation to the White House, but I’ve seen plenty of people turn down the invitation to live fully. Turning down the invitation comes in lots of flavors. It looks like numbing yourself or distracting yourself or seeing something really beautiful as just normal. It can also look like refusing to forgive or not being grateful or getting wrapped around the axle with fear or envy.  I think everyday God sends us an invitation to live and sometimes we forget to show up or get head-faked into thinking we haven’t really been invited. But you see, we have been invited — every day, all over again.” 

From Karen Spears Zacharias' blog, quoting Bob Goff's book.

Thanks for this Karen, thanks for this Lord.

No Fish

No, I haven't caught any fish.

Not quite sure what to do with myself these days

I went out looking

Wanted to...at least do something

Something to pass the time

Something to fill the ache

Something productive

Something that might at least make me feel useful

And like there is purpose

I've lost purpose

Now that You've gone

Or show up so much less

Not sure of my direction

The way forward has no path

Unless I make one myself

And fishing ain't so bad

A good living

Respectable

I am good at it

Or ... was

But I have caught nothing

Here in this boat 

I have not found anything to fill

The longings are still the same

The ache is still there

The missing You ... in community

Trying to figure it all out

What was this all supposed to be about anyway

I left

I followed

You spoke to me

And touched my heart in so many ways

I thought I would never be the same

But now I wonder

And I haven't caught any fish


(Jn 21 "Have you caught any fish?")