Not sure what love is

I'm not sure if I know what love is
Or... rather 
I'm not sure if I know how to love
Do I
Have I ever loved
Is love a feeling
It's easy to feel love for...
those who love me
those who return my acts of love or affection
those who are needy
those who seem to receive and grow and benefit from what I have done for them
those who are thankful

But anybody can "love" people in those categories
I find myself thinking
It kind of stinks that I'm supposed to keep loving now
Now with things the way they are
Here, now, is the test of my love

How do I know what is love, or how to love?

I suspect has not much to do with how I feel 
(probably shouldn't expect some warm fuzzies at this point)
...maybe holding back from saying some things I want to say to cause pain--that is probably an act of love--this I can do
...maybe praying for the situation, even though it hurts like crap that I haven't been invited into it, yep...that is probably love

I thought I knew what love is
I thought I wanted to learn
Sometimes, I find I don't
But then again, I do
For there is this Love that draws me
That has taken over my life
I want to learn, be changed by, and give
That same sort of Love
Yet, as I enter the process
I start to learn
Just how high and long and deep and wide that love really is
Far higher than mine
and so I sink into His
and learn to live mine

--Reflections from January 2011

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