The grieving begins...

And so... the grieving begins

What will it be like
To not walk these streets anymore
To not see the simple shops
To not be able to get to a grocery store
Or buy medication
Or fruit and flour
Within a 5 minute walk

What will it be like
To not always be noticed
Get the double-takes
Hear people talk about me as I walk by
To not have 3 different people greet me
On a 15-20 minute walk to work

Small town living has it's advantages
And disadvantages.

I'm going to miss
That Ratan chair and table set
My balcony garden
All those peace lilies
My innovative planters
My bright, open and full-of-plants office
My kitchen
My living room sofas
The bookshelves
All the little efforts made to make a home
And now I will leave the home

Maybe I should focus on the parts I DON'T like
Then it will be easier....
Yeah, I'm not going to miss the water stains that never got fixed
The electricity that seems to be faulty
I'm especially not going to miss the noise--in the house and out
And such a hard time to find quiet and beautiful places to walk

This is all about surroundings, things.
What is bigger, is the people.

What I love
The crazy openness of relationship
That is what it is with my colleagues
M.A. says I create community
and invite vulnerable relationship
Wherever I go
I don't need to worry about not finding it in the future
I know I already have it with some friends
Suddenly I catch a vision of creating it
in new places, once again.

But people
Their stories
Their homes
These are also the 'reels' that play in my head
The individual vignettes
So many
What a privilege
To have been allowed into their lives
To be trusted
To have shared the journey
At some pivotal and painful times

These encounters
Have marked me
Etched something on my soul