To be a Rock

a rock
a stone
or...a wall

Something hard, impenetrable
Something that cannot feel, cannot be hurt

It's what I considered yesterday
What I wanted to become

"How else can I live?"
That's what I think sometimes

But there is another way, and today I'm reminded.

My opening prayer for the week is Psalm 62

When I saw it would be Psalm 62, I immediately thought of verse 8 and the invitation to "Pour out your heart to him" that has been such a blessing to me through the years--pour it out, pour it all out, not just the nice and the pretty, the praise, but even the ugly--the confusion, doubts, even anger.

I thought of verse 8, but I also wondered: "Could there be more, something I've missed in the past, in the rest of the chapter?"

And...there is more. I don't know how strongly I'll remember these other parts into the future, but I do note them today, and this week... Here are vv. 1-8, NLT, emphasis mine.

I wait quietly before God,
    for my victory comes from him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation,
    my fortress where I will never be shaken.
So many enemies against one man—
    all of them trying to kill me.
To them I’m just a broken-down wall
    or a tottering fence.
They plan to topple me from my high position.
    They delight in telling lies about me.
They praise me to my face
    but curse me in their hearts. Interlude
Let all that I am wait quietly before God,
    for my hope is in him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation,
    my fortress where I will not be shaken.

My victory and honor come from God alone.
    He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me.
O my people, trust in him at all times.
    Pour out your heart to him,
    for God is our refuge. Interlude

I don't need to be a rock, to be safe
I am a broken down wall
I don't need to build a new one, a strong one

I can go crawling into a rock
Crawling home to my God
Perhaps for some time I need to just be silent
With those where the pain is fresh
Silent...not to build a wall or be a rock
But waiting on God
He might reveal something
He might give perspective
But I don't need to become hard
Hiding there
I am safe
This rock can take the blows
And I am allowed to just hide
For a while 

Thank You Lord

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