What a wrestle it's been this week Lord
Thank You for more of a sense of peace...finally
What a wrestle to trust
to believe
to actually, really rely
To believe that You are watching over me
That all will be okay
To rely on Your unfailing love
And have it actually affect my emotions
And the way I work
I so crave
clarity
direction
reliable outcomes
And when they are nowhere in sight
I go CRAZY
Can I really believe that you are watching over
to rescue
to deliver
in love
Can I learn to work like you do
in faithfulness
(reflections from life, and hanging out in Psalm 33 for 2 weeks)
I want to want You
O God, I have tasted Your goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need of furthergrace, I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want You; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Your glory, I pray You, that so I may know You indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, "Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away." Then give me grace to rise and follow You up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long.
In Jesus' Name, Amen.
Prayer at the end of chapter 1 of A.W. Tozer's The Pursuit of God, with "Thee's" and "Thou's" changed to "You" and "Your"
In Jesus' Name, Amen.
Prayer at the end of chapter 1 of A.W. Tozer's The Pursuit of God, with "Thee's" and "Thou's" changed to "You" and "Your"
For You Alone Jesus
An opportunity to prove, service is for you alone.
I had spent a few hours, preparing for their session. Then the leader of the group said he wasn't coming, but the others were. That was disheartening.
Okay, oh well. Father, may it bless them, these young lives.
I had spent a few hours, preparing for their session. Then the leader of the group said he wasn't coming, but the others were. That was disheartening.
Okay, oh well. Father, may it bless them, these young lives.
I, too, run...
They do it all the time
run from life
the hard choices
a painful past
regrets
apologizing
admitting
She
a few weeks ago
finally had the courage to admit
been sleeping with her boyfriend for a year and a half
and knows she shouldn't
and wants to stop
but doesn't want to stop
and now
is running
not showing up at things
He
in grade 10 didn't want to attend the grief group
could vaguely mention that not having a dad was hard
but couldn't really admit it
now, grade 12
he's finally stood in front of a group and admitted
it's hard
he's often lied when others ask
it's painful
and he doesn't know what to do
maybe soon he'll be ready to stop running
And I encourage them to
face it
admit it
recognize the pain
own your responsibility
make the right choices
don't run
and yet that they do
makes sense
we all do
and it especially makes sense
when you're a teenager
or you don't yet know a God
who will walk you through
be with you
as you turn and face reality
but
I, too, run...
Me
25 years their senior
knowing the You that will be with me through EVERYTHING
I run
it's pathetic
I run from the responsibilities
the never-ending unknowing
the waiting
the complexity
the intensity
the lack of intensity
the questions with no quick-coming answers
the fears
...that I'm wrong
...that I might push her away
...that I haven't done enough or prayed enough
...that You won't meet me when I come to talk about it
This life of faith is hard
and hard in ways I did not expect
I wanted hard
but I didn't think it would look like this
so I find my ways to run
instead of trust
and own
and ask
and wait for You
Let this be my stopping
my turning back
my wrestling to the ground
Teach me God
to fully embrace this life You give
every part
to own it
and know it as good
run from life
the hard choices
a painful past
regrets
apologizing
admitting
She
a few weeks ago
finally had the courage to admit
been sleeping with her boyfriend for a year and a half
and knows she shouldn't
and wants to stop
but doesn't want to stop
and now
is running
not showing up at things
He
in grade 10 didn't want to attend the grief group
could vaguely mention that not having a dad was hard
but couldn't really admit it
now, grade 12
he's finally stood in front of a group and admitted
it's hard
he's often lied when others ask
it's painful
and he doesn't know what to do
maybe soon he'll be ready to stop running
And I encourage them to
face it
admit it
recognize the pain
own your responsibility
make the right choices
don't run
and yet that they do
makes sense
we all do
and it especially makes sense
when you're a teenager
or you don't yet know a God
who will walk you through
be with you
as you turn and face reality
but
I, too, run...
Me
25 years their senior
knowing the You that will be with me through EVERYTHING
I run
it's pathetic
I run from the responsibilities
the never-ending unknowing
the waiting
the complexity
the intensity
the lack of intensity
the questions with no quick-coming answers
the fears
...that I'm wrong
...that I might push her away
...that I haven't done enough or prayed enough
...that You won't meet me when I come to talk about it
This life of faith is hard
and hard in ways I did not expect
I wanted hard
but I didn't think it would look like this
so I find my ways to run
instead of trust
and own
and ask
and wait for You
Let this be my stopping
my turning back
my wrestling to the ground
Teach me God
to fully embrace this life You give
every part
to own it
and know it as good
Oh little boy...
Oh little boy
I love to see
Every time your mommy posts
Photos
You
So full of life
and joy
your face
always so
Expectant
For you
Life is good
You know love
Every day
you soak
You bask
In the love and joy others have for you
And turn it right back
The world is here to bless you
To help you grow
To bring you joy
There is no fear of pain on your face
There is no holding back
No suspicion
No doubting of motives
No wondering if there is something else
After the fun and the joy
I love to see your face
Yet I cringe
Someday you will start to taste
Another side
You'll find
Life is not always good
Sometimes you expect the good
and get slapped across the face
Sometimes, it's hard to hope
hard to be so
Expectant
What will happen then
Will you lose your joy
Will your face fall
Will you carry a protective layer
Will your eyes harbour suspicion
If that happpens
You will have lost so much
There is a truth you know deep down now
May you know it deep down then too
You can hope
There is good
You are safe
You are loved
Now your parents show you
But soon even they won't be able to
Then may your Father know you
And may you know Him
And trust Him
And
In spite of the pain
And possible disappointments
Live
Expectant!
I love to see
Every time your mommy posts
Photos
You
So full of life
and joy
your face
always so
Expectant
For you
Life is good
You know love
Every day
you soak
You bask
In the love and joy others have for you
And turn it right back
The world is here to bless you
To help you grow
To bring you joy
There is no fear of pain on your face
There is no holding back
No suspicion
No doubting of motives
No wondering if there is something else
After the fun and the joy
I love to see your face
Yet I cringe
Someday you will start to taste
Another side
You'll find
Life is not always good
Sometimes you expect the good
and get slapped across the face
Sometimes, it's hard to hope
hard to be so
Expectant
What will happen then
Will you lose your joy
Will your face fall
Will you carry a protective layer
Will your eyes harbour suspicion
If that happpens
You will have lost so much
There is a truth you know deep down now
May you know it deep down then too
You can hope
There is good
You are safe
You are loved
Now your parents show you
But soon even they won't be able to
Then may your Father know you
And may you know Him
And trust Him
And
In spite of the pain
And possible disappointments
Live
Expectant!
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