I lean into pain

I lean into pain...I think that's it, that's how it looks for me. That's how I am my Father's daughter.

Jamie TVWM wrote: "In the same way, when you lean hard into the gifts that God his given you and when you pour your might, spirit, and heart into those gifts, then you reflect beautifully on your Father in heaven.

You get to lay it all out there! And then remember that Shame and Pride have lost their place in your world - You are simply your Father's son. "

I lean into pain.

• Wednesday morning on the steps of the courthouse, waiting with friends for their divorce proceedings to begin (later postponed due to the other party not coming). 
• That night another struggling.
• This week a colleague has been out searching for our new students--stories of pain and struggle--the one with no parents, yes, we're taking her for sure.
• Tonight a call--a sister hurting, mom feared for her life last night when dad beat her.  Now she's bringing mom to her city, courageously doing what she can, yet hurting.

I love that line: "lean hard into the gifts that God has given you, " and then recognizing that "I'm my Father's daughter."

Not sure I fully live this yet. Too much insecurity and wondering. And then also too much pride and shame.  

Yet...I've also backed away from some pain in recent months. What's with that?

Don't know how this "I lean into pain" idea popped into my head, but it fits--the life I live and the work I do...lean in, to join with others in the pain, help find healing, relief... Perhaps it also fits the attitude I need to adopt in facing this other pain.

I want to live this more and more. I need to really lean in, to enter into some of the even closer pain, quit pulling back, quit flinching.  

I'm my Father's daughter. I'm meant to lean in.

How will she...

What will it look like
How will it happen
When she finally believes?

'Cause I think she really is on the way
Slow though it is

Is she?

She started out--"I don't believe in Jesus, but I like people who do"
Two years ago

She still doesn't 'believe'
But when we talk about thanking Him
She realizes, she can thank Him for meeting people that believe in Him
Showing her a way of living that is good
Something she would have known

And as we study Mark together
So slowly
We rotate facilitating
She doesn't pray
But brings up that it is time for that part.

Yesterday--a friend whose parents are in divorce court next Wednesday
asked for prayer, but said, "I don't know what to pray for"
She came back to that later and said,
"Don't know what to pray for...well, can ask for a just and fair result"
And after we had finished praying she said,
"And oh, I forgot to say (a student who is ill)"

Is she on the way?
I think so
Oh Jesus
Bring her home
Home to You

And I can't wait to see how it will be
How your seed is falling even now
On soil that is being prepared
Oh how deep the roots will grow
Please make them grow deep LORD
And Oh the fruit that will come
Fruit that will last, please LORD
A strong tree in the courts of our God
That's what she will look like
That's where this is going
I hope
I pray 
Our Father, may Your will be done

(written several weeks ago...'yesterday' is not yesterday)