The difference between Your grace and mine is...
mine is measured.
So glad yours isn't.
Teach me, change me...to be like You.
Oh God, I am so not like you!
how do You do it?
how do You give so much grace?
constantly pouring it out, on those so undeserving
we're barely even thankful you know
or maybe very thankful today
but in a day or two will have forgotten the wonder
a sinner forgiven
granted new life
free, to rise again
and hope
and it bugs me
oh not totally
I do marvel
and am full of joy at the free hope
but it also bugs me
where do they get off so being light and free
when I'm still weeping over what they've done
so many conversations
so many topics
are a bloody reminder
of the pain
the cost
it's like I want to see them free
but still tied down a little
where is the cure for a heart like mine?
how do You give so much grace?
constantly pouring it out, on those so undeserving
we're barely even thankful you know
or maybe very thankful today
but in a day or two will have forgotten the wonder
a sinner forgiven
granted new life
free, to rise again
and hope
and it bugs me
oh not totally
I do marvel
and am full of joy at the free hope
but it also bugs me
where do they get off so being light and free
when I'm still weeping over what they've done
so many conversations
so many topics
are a bloody reminder
of the pain
the cost
it's like I want to see them free
but still tied down a little
where is the cure for a heart like mine?
How do I install a 1-day delay?
I need this installed on my mouth! Ah... It's terrible. So many times I say my first thought, and it is negative and not helpful. I regret what I have said. I so understand the line where Jabez prayed "May I not cause pain". The times I don't say it, I am so thankful, because later, in my thinking, I have seen so many other things, the good side of a situation. Oh, if only every time I opened my mouth I started there.
I must change. I must grow in this. Otherwise, I will always continue to cause so much pain. I just do not want to live like that. THEY do not want, or deserve, for me to live like that.
Sometimes I wonder if there is even hope. But I cannot give up. Maybe as I continue to be aware and act...I will eventually learn. There is an event on Saturday. I know I will see things that could be better, but I need to NOT say anything that day--during, or after--not say anything until later, when I see it from a more balanced perspective. But I know, during that time, I will feel such an URGENCY to say things, I will think it is SO IMPORTANT. I have wondered if I shouldn't go.
When will my presence be a constant blessing and encouragement for those that work with me?
I really don't know how to live.
Lord help!
I must change. I must grow in this. Otherwise, I will always continue to cause so much pain. I just do not want to live like that. THEY do not want, or deserve, for me to live like that.
Sometimes I wonder if there is even hope. But I cannot give up. Maybe as I continue to be aware and act...I will eventually learn. There is an event on Saturday. I know I will see things that could be better, but I need to NOT say anything that day--during, or after--not say anything until later, when I see it from a more balanced perspective. But I know, during that time, I will feel such an URGENCY to say things, I will think it is SO IMPORTANT. I have wondered if I shouldn't go.
When will my presence be a constant blessing and encouragement for those that work with me?
I really don't know how to live.
Lord help!
Reflecting
Posted on my wall is a quote:
"Refuse to use hurry as an excuse to live an unexamined life."
These days... there are so many things to examine and reflect on. Feel like I could use an unhurried MONTH to examine...
"Refuse to use hurry as an excuse to live an unexamined life."
These days... there are so many things to examine and reflect on. Feel like I could use an unhurried MONTH to examine...
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