"Go in the strength you have"?
You have got to be kidding me
My "strength"
Is truly limited!
And it will be like fighting one man--really?
Is that for me too?
The "reduction"
That is certainly happening
Oh please,
I've mocked
And disagreed
With how he had to put out a fleece
But I understand now
The desperation
Please
Send a sign
Of Your deliverance coming
Of help on the way somehow
This
Is just too
Impossible
Help Lord!
Some People Live "Lite," part 2
It's a mystery
A paradox
You ask me to carry a cross
You ask me to die
These things seem
All very heavy and hard
And yet you say,
"Come to me...
Let me teach you...
My burden is light"
Hard and yet "light"
Heavy and yet "light"
May I not balk
Not complain
At the heaviness of the task
The weight of the burden
And yet may I somehow learn
(and I have already learned some!)
To bear the load
Apparently Your "yoke"
Is not a task, but a tool
A way of working
that fits
And it has to do with rest*
But there is still a "burden"
That sounds like a task
And it is light
The result
It seems to me
Will be work done
With joy
Peaceful
Not anxious
Hopeful
Seeing all Your blessings
I think this is what Your "light" looks like
But I have not yet learned to live it
Teach me Lord
*Thanks to Mark Buchanan--messages given at Break Forth 2013 and in the book The Rest of God for the "yoke" thoughts.
A paradox
You ask me to carry a cross
You ask me to die
These things seem
All very heavy and hard
And yet you say,
"Come to me...
Let me teach you...
My burden is light"
Hard and yet "light"
Heavy and yet "light"
May I not balk
Not complain
At the heaviness of the task
The weight of the burden
And yet may I somehow learn
(and I have already learned some!)
To bear the load
Apparently Your "yoke"
Is not a task, but a tool
A way of working
that fits
And it has to do with rest*
But there is still a "burden"
That sounds like a task
And it is light
The result
It seems to me
Will be work done
With joy
Peaceful
Not anxious
Hopeful
Seeing all Your blessings
I think this is what Your "light" looks like
But I have not yet learned to live it
Teach me Lord
*Thanks to Mark Buchanan--messages given at Break Forth 2013 and in the book The Rest of God for the "yoke" thoughts.
Some People Live "Lite," part 1
I have watched them sometimes
They live "lite," unencumbered
Take on projects
One at a time
One semester at a time
Move often
Change programs
All still within the same, grand, big picture
But keep things
Simple and free
Every time I have started something
New and fresh
In a new place
I, too, have felt "lite"
Unencumbered
Like the task was manageable
There was energy for it
Maybe it is what You've called them to
And there are definitely some things
I could learn from them
Ways of thinking
Ways of doing
But basically
You have led me to something else
I take on multi-year projects
Lifetime tasks
And the burden, the complication
Is great
Sometimes
I would like to break free
The burden feels so heavy
And I do so poorly at diligence
In the midst of the long, daily grind
Maybe that is what you're trying to teach me
Maybe this is my training
Some people live lite
I don't
Sometimes I wonder if I should
Sometimes I see
That it is just a different road
With different costs
Different challenges
And it feels very heavy right now
They live "lite," unencumbered
Take on projects
One at a time
One semester at a time
Move often
Change programs
All still within the same, grand, big picture
But keep things
Simple and free
Every time I have started something
New and fresh
In a new place
I, too, have felt "lite"
Unencumbered
Like the task was manageable
There was energy for it
Maybe it is what You've called them to
And there are definitely some things
I could learn from them
Ways of thinking
Ways of doing
But basically
You have led me to something else
I take on multi-year projects
Lifetime tasks
And the burden, the complication
Is great
Sometimes
I would like to break free
The burden feels so heavy
And I do so poorly at diligence
In the midst of the long, daily grind
Maybe that is what you're trying to teach me
Maybe this is my training
Some people live lite
I don't
Sometimes I wonder if I should
Sometimes I see
That it is just a different road
With different costs
Different challenges
And it feels very heavy right now
Can You Not Trust Me?
I can still the storm
I created you
I have led you this far
Time and again, I have provided
I have promised to always be with you
To never leave you nor forsake you
I have promised this to you
Again and again
And I have proven it to you
Again and again
Today, these days
I am speaking to you
Yes, it is Me
I am speaking
You have learned to hear My voice
You are My sheep, My child
You know My voice
And follow
There are many things before you
Many options
You're overwhelmed
Confused
Scared
You doubt you've heard
You doubt your ability
You don't want to be a fool
But neither do you want to miss this
You don't want to miss the possibility
The potential
You offered your life to me
To use for My glory
I'm taking it
I'm going to use it
I will do mighty things
That you may or may not see
But
Can you not trust me?
Put away your fear
Live in my love
Live in my joy
Live free
Can you not trust me...
For the deepest longings of your heart
To be with you and guide you every step of the way
To watch over and protect you
To provide all you need
the people you need
the strength you need
the insight you need
all the resources you need
the way through
That I am leading you and using you
even when you can't see it
Beyond all your fears
Beyond your weaknesses
Beyond the ways you have failed in the past
Beyond any way you could fail in the future
Trust me with your life
Trust me with your days
Trust me each moment
I am your God
I am your Father
I will be faithful to you
I will always be faithful to you
I will never leave you
I will never abandon you
I love you and will watch over you
I will guide you with My righteous right hand
I will hold you and protect you
You are mine
Trust me
Put away your fear
Live in my love
Live in my joy
Live free
"The Lord is with you, mighty woman of valour....Go with the strength you have...I am sending you....I will be with you."
"You are such a soldier, and the Father is really with you."
Do not be afraid
I created you
I have led you this far
Time and again, I have provided
I have promised to always be with you
To never leave you nor forsake you
I have promised this to you
Again and again
And I have proven it to you
Again and again
Today, these days
I am speaking to you
Yes, it is Me
I am speaking
You have learned to hear My voice
You are My sheep, My child
You know My voice
And follow
There are many things before you
Many options
You're overwhelmed
Confused
Scared
You doubt you've heard
You doubt your ability
You don't want to be a fool
But neither do you want to miss this
You don't want to miss the possibility
The potential
You offered your life to me
To use for My glory
I'm taking it
I'm going to use it
I will do mighty things
That you may or may not see
But
Can you not trust me?
Put away your fear
Live in my love
Live in my joy
Live free
Can you not trust me...
For the deepest longings of your heart
To be with you and guide you every step of the way
To watch over and protect you
To provide all you need
the people you need
the strength you need
the insight you need
all the resources you need
the way through
That I am leading you and using you
even when you can't see it
Beyond all your fears
Beyond your weaknesses
Beyond the ways you have failed in the past
Beyond any way you could fail in the future
Trust me with your life
Trust me with your days
Trust me each moment
I am your God
I am your Father
I will be faithful to you
I will always be faithful to you
I will never leave you
I will never abandon you
I love you and will watch over you
I will guide you with My righteous right hand
I will hold you and protect you
You are mine
Trust me
Put away your fear
Live in my love
Live in my joy
Live free
"The Lord is with you, mighty woman of valour....Go with the strength you have...I am sending you....I will be with you."
"You are such a soldier, and the Father is really with you."
Do not be afraid
Christ the King
Prayer for Christ the King Sunday
Almighty and everlasting God, whose will it is to restore all things in your well-beloved Son, the King of kings and Lord of lords: Mercifully grant that the peoples of the earth, divided and enslaved by sin, may be freed and brought together under his most gracious rule; who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.
----------------
Luke 8:22-56
Jesus, You are King over the storms, King over demons, King over sickness, and even King over death. All the storms that arise, You can wake up and still them, then turn and look at me and say, "Where is your faith?" "Where is my faith?" Didn't I turn to You for help in it? Ah, yes, but it was more out of desperation. I wasn't really convinced you would calm the storm and see me through. King Jesus--Your heart is to free, and to heal, and to give life.
And You make demands on us
You demand more faith
And you demand that faith be recognized, commended
To the woman--You demanded she acknowledge
You wanted her to be seen and known
You wanted her to own her story of weakness, failure, healing and mercy
----------------
Jesus, the storms have come
The boat looks like it's sinking
Save us, please, we're going to drown
Where's my faith?
I believe
Help my unbelief
Cast out of me all that is evil and vile
Cleanse me
These demons within
My constant companions
Intrinsically mine
I so don't want them
Yet am helpless to free myself
The failure, the pain
I have come crawling to You for healing
I wanted, I thought, a quiet healing
But, NO, You demand so much more
You demand I stand
For all to see
Head held high
That my story
That Your mercy, healing and love
Be known
And so, that which is my shame
I share
That they, too, might know
Things dead
Dreams long forgotten
Hope...so long "sleeping"
Even that
Are You coming to
Resurrect?
It's laughable
(Sometimes laughing
Is easier than hoping)
Do what You will
The miracle
Astound us
Astound me
And bring them out alive
Almighty and everlasting God, whose will it is to restore all things in your well-beloved Son, the King of kings and Lord of lords: Mercifully grant that the peoples of the earth, divided and enslaved by sin, may be freed and brought together under his most gracious rule; who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.
----------------
Luke 8:22-56
Jesus, You are King over the storms, King over demons, King over sickness, and even King over death. All the storms that arise, You can wake up and still them, then turn and look at me and say, "Where is your faith?" "Where is my faith?" Didn't I turn to You for help in it? Ah, yes, but it was more out of desperation. I wasn't really convinced you would calm the storm and see me through. King Jesus--Your heart is to free, and to heal, and to give life.
And You make demands on us
You demand more faith
And you demand that faith be recognized, commended
To the woman--You demanded she acknowledge
You wanted her to be seen and known
You wanted her to own her story of weakness, failure, healing and mercy
----------------
Jesus, the storms have come
The boat looks like it's sinking
Save us, please, we're going to drown
Where's my faith?
I believe
Help my unbelief
Cast out of me all that is evil and vile
Cleanse me
These demons within
My constant companions
Intrinsically mine
I so don't want them
Yet am helpless to free myself
The failure, the pain
I have come crawling to You for healing
I wanted, I thought, a quiet healing
But, NO, You demand so much more
You demand I stand
For all to see
Head held high
That my story
That Your mercy, healing and love
Be known
And so, that which is my shame
I share
That they, too, might know
Things dead
Dreams long forgotten
Hope...so long "sleeping"
Even that
Are You coming to
Resurrect?
It's laughable
(Sometimes laughing
Is easier than hoping)
Do what You will
The miracle
Astound us
Astound me
And bring them out alive
I Wish...
I wish...
Margaret Becker was still writing and singing new songs.
Bill Watterson was still producing new Calvin and Hobbes comics
(though I totally respect that he stopped)
What I really wish
is that joy would come more easily
that daily life wouldn't be such a struggle
that hope would wouldn't take so much work to grasp and HOLD
I guess I wish
life would be easy
and I would be inspired
all the time
(Random, light musings--written Oct. 6, 2013)
Margaret Becker was still writing and singing new songs.
Bill Watterson was still producing new Calvin and Hobbes comics
(though I totally respect that he stopped)
What I really wish
is that joy would come more easily
that daily life wouldn't be such a struggle
that hope would wouldn't take so much work to grasp and HOLD
I guess I wish
life would be easy
and I would be inspired
all the time
(Random, light musings--written Oct. 6, 2013)
Letting go
Why is it so hard to let go
some things
some people
past failures
unresolved situations
conflicts
Is it just in me
Or in all of us
This need
or at least a deep desire
for closure
resolution
situations clear all around
understanding of what really went on
knowledge that it's all okay
nothing left unresolved
And yet, so many times
the final and complete resolution
is not within my power
(Written Sept. 30, 2013--and so I sought resolution..)
some things
some people
past failures
unresolved situations
conflicts
Is it just in me
Or in all of us
This need
or at least a deep desire
for closure
resolution
situations clear all around
understanding of what really went on
knowledge that it's all okay
nothing left unresolved
And yet, so many times
the final and complete resolution
is not within my power
(Written Sept. 30, 2013--and so I sought resolution..)
Unfailing Love
Praise the Lord...
The unfailing love of the Lord fills the earth.
Ps. 33:2, 5 NLT
Ps. 33:2, 5 NLT
I will praise
I will keep looking for this love of Yours
That fills the earth
I will look for it
I will expect to find it
Where is Your love?
How can I see it?
I see it easily in acts of kindness
Justice and righteousness
Sometimes I see the beauty of Your creation
But I don't quite get the connection
Between creation, and love
Teach me Lord
Show me
Help me discover
Bring to mind the verses
The truths
That will help me see and remember
Each day
That Your love surrounds me
The day is dreary
Clouds cover the sky
But above the clouds
There is a blue sky
And a warm sun
Your sun shines
Your rain falls
On all creation
Both the righteous and the unrighteous
Maybe this is how the earth
Is full of Your love
Winter comes
Death
But so comes spring
And new life
My Christmas cactus
Shows that sometimes beauty
And life
Is born out of
Darkness and cold
And hardship
Is this also Your love
Filling the earth
I will praise
I will keep looking for this love of Yours
That fills the earth
I will look for it
I will expect to find it
Every day
Every day I must come again
Learn again
Start over again
Somehow
Every day
I must remember again
That You love me
That Your plans are good
Somehow
Every day
I must find myself
Once again
Rooted in You
Established in Your love
Trusting You
Why do I forget
How can I remember
What goes wrong
That I so quickly despair
That my heart is so quickly unsettled
Today again
I come
I choose
Once again
To put my hope in Your unfailing love
To look to You
To look for You
To rest in You
Thank You
Today
Again
You will be faithful to me
For You have never forsaken
Those who put their trust
In Your unfailing love
Learn again
Start over again
Somehow
Every day
I must remember again
That You love me
That Your plans are good
Somehow
Every day
I must find myself
Once again
Rooted in You
Established in Your love
Trusting You
Why do I forget
How can I remember
What goes wrong
That I so quickly despair
That my heart is so quickly unsettled
Today again
I come
I choose
Once again
To put my hope in Your unfailing love
To look to You
To look for You
To rest in You
Thank You
Today
Again
You will be faithful to me
For You have never forsaken
Those who put their trust
In Your unfailing love
Processing--vision, and fear
God, what is it?
What is that thing so big,
so important,
that I simply must do it?
What is it that is so wrong with the world,
wrong with the current situation,
that I simply must spend my life to see it change,
the "Not on my watch" will this continue?
Please, clarify my vision,
narrow my focus.
And what is it I'm afraid of?
What is holding me back?
Help me see clearly
the fear that stands in the way,
that I might name it
and push through it.
Who cares if I will fail
I will fail
Time and again
I embrace the failure
As opportunity to adjust
And try again
What is that thing so big,
so important,
that I simply must do it?
What is it that is so wrong with the world,
wrong with the current situation,
that I simply must spend my life to see it change,
the "Not on my watch" will this continue?
Please, clarify my vision,
narrow my focus.
And what is it I'm afraid of?
What is holding me back?
Help me see clearly
the fear that stands in the way,
that I might name it
and push through it.
Who cares if I will fail
I will fail
Time and again
I embrace the failure
As opportunity to adjust
And try again
Waiting still...
What does it mean...
Since ancient times no one has heard,
no ear has perceived,
no eye has seen any God besides you,
who acts on behalf of those who wait for him.
Isa. 64:4
I am waiting for You
Waiting on You
How will You act on my behalf?
Since ancient times no one has heard,
no ear has perceived,
no eye has seen any God besides you,
who acts on behalf of those who wait for him.
Isa. 64:4
I am waiting for You
Waiting on You
How will You act on my behalf?
Remember Your Love
How do I forget so
easily
How can I STOP
forgetting
How can I learn to
constantly remember
That You really do
love me
Your love
It’s everything
My joy
My hope
My purpose in living
It’s what I have
The only thing I have
To share with anyone
It’s the only reason
I can face anyone
Face the world
In spite of my failure
and shortcomings
And You have proven
Your love
Again and again
In history
In the countless times
and ways
You have whispered it
to my soul
In the ways You have
Provided
And guided
All the days of my
life
So why do I doubt
Why do I forget
How can I stop
forgetting
It came slamming at me
this morning
In the resistance I
felt to that prayer
Resisting the “giving
You everything”
Only “Your love and
Your grace”
As enough
Ah, it disturbed me
What I saw inside my
heart
Thankfully
You showed me again
It didn’t take long
A simple review
A trip down memory
lane
Revisiting things You’ve
said
Along this journey
And everything changed
As I remember Your
great love for me
Your promises to be
with me always
How You have never
broken that promise
You have never give me
reason to doubt You
And yet I forget so
quickly
Oh, I’m sorry Lord
How can I remember
How can I keep
remembering
Somehow…
I think “contemplating
the love of God”
Needs to become a part
of my morning ritual
Every day
And then I need to revisit
during the day
And in examen at night
Until my life is so
formed by it
Until I am so utterly
filled with joy
Unshakeable joy
Overflowing joy
If not for this fire...
If not for this fire
If not for this passion that burns inside
Fueled again and again
By their stories
The need
The glimpses
Of pain
And lostness
And confusion
And the glimpses
Of how what I have
What I see
What we have done
CAN make a difference
IS what they need
If not for this fire
I would surely give up
Lay down and die
Pull away
Run
In the countless ways
I know to run
The future
Is so darn scary
The uncertainty
So daunting
I
Am so afraid
Lord,
I don't know where or how
To get the strength
To find the resources
It's hard to 'rally the troops'
Around uncertainty
Hard to even dare to try to tell them
Hard to feel so stupid
And put that out there
For all to see
If not for this fire
I'd run away right now
And courage is not
The absence of fear
But doing what you need to do
In spite of the fear
So, God,
If you want me to continue
If there is something left to do
Then fuel this fire
If it is what is needed
To hold me on course
To compel action
To at least stay put
Until the direction comes
Then, please
Let it burn strong
And may what follows be
Your provision
Your guidance
Your resourcing
In ways only You can do
And may it truly
Meet the need
That fuels this fire
If not for this passion that burns inside
Fueled again and again
By their stories
The need
The glimpses
Of pain
And lostness
And confusion
And the glimpses
Of how what I have
What I see
What we have done
CAN make a difference
IS what they need
If not for this fire
I would surely give up
Lay down and die
Pull away
Run
In the countless ways
I know to run
The future
Is so darn scary
The uncertainty
So daunting
I
Am so afraid
Lord,
I don't know where or how
To get the strength
To find the resources
It's hard to 'rally the troops'
Around uncertainty
Hard to even dare to try to tell them
Hard to feel so stupid
And put that out there
For all to see
If not for this fire
I'd run away right now
And courage is not
The absence of fear
But doing what you need to do
In spite of the fear
So, God,
If you want me to continue
If there is something left to do
Then fuel this fire
If it is what is needed
To hold me on course
To compel action
To at least stay put
Until the direction comes
Then, please
Let it burn strong
And may what follows be
Your provision
Your guidance
Your resourcing
In ways only You can do
And may it truly
Meet the need
That fuels this fire
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