Jesus, Messiah
Peace to this earth
You came to bring
Fill my heart
Fill my life
Continue the transformation
You have begun
Lead me
Lead us all
By Your Light
Out of our darkness
And joy
Fill our lives with your joy
For the journey is long
And hard
As Yours was much more so
But for the joy set before you...
You endured
And finished well
So may we live with joy
And worship
And live with Peace
In Light
So may I live with joy
Will it ever end?
For some it is like this I hear...
Adolescence
Parent and child
Who knows why there are so many flare ups
Why every word (it seems) comes ripe with the potential for
Misunderstanding, mistrust, misconstruing
So many conversations trying to reconcile
Work things out
Explain
Understand
But still new ones come
Who knows where they come from sometimes
Will it ever end?
And it just hurts
It's just hard
Looking at someone you care for
Knowing you're unable to express the care
Or, somehow, every time you try
It doesn't make it to their heart, their understanding
Feeling you are despised, a pain
Them feeling they are that to you, too
Will we make it through this time of pain?
What will it take?
Is there something different to do?
Another way to live?
All I know to do
Is to keep holding on to this hand that is holding me
And not give up
Jesus, search, reveal, renew, restore
Grant faith, hope, endurance, and joy
To somehow make it through this season
And emerge on the other side
With an incredible story to tell
A story of Your grace and mercy
Adolescence
Parent and child
Who knows why there are so many flare ups
Why every word (it seems) comes ripe with the potential for
Misunderstanding, mistrust, misconstruing
So many conversations trying to reconcile
Work things out
Explain
Understand
But still new ones come
Who knows where they come from sometimes
Will it ever end?
And it just hurts
It's just hard
Looking at someone you care for
Knowing you're unable to express the care
Or, somehow, every time you try
It doesn't make it to their heart, their understanding
Feeling you are despised, a pain
Them feeling they are that to you, too
Will we make it through this time of pain?
What will it take?
Is there something different to do?
Another way to live?
All I know to do
Is to keep holding on to this hand that is holding me
And not give up
Jesus, search, reveal, renew, restore
Grant faith, hope, endurance, and joy
To somehow make it through this season
And emerge on the other side
With an incredible story to tell
A story of Your grace and mercy
The Cost of Tears
It just occurred to me that one key to learning to live or regaining my balance might be to budget in about 5 hours for "crying" into each work week. Either that, or add an extra day of rest to cry and recover. I guess our staff all need that sort of time too...they are even closer to some painful situations.
The pain I see or hear about ... takes a serious toll. This week, the event that 'inspired' Cry for the Children was a baby girl having been given away. The person closer to the situation--also deeply affected and called to action.
Today ... there are bus rides, conversations, and people changing their minds, willing to try to go and find her... and I'm crying again.
Sometimes I think I'm crying tears people don't know to cry for themselves, or tears they've locked away deep inside...waiting for the day to come out.
I'm crying and praying for that baby girl...about 2 weeks old now. Where is she? Father, please protect her, prepare a home for her, a home where she will be loved.
If I sometimes feel I can hardly bear the pain... I wonder how God does it, He sees it so much more clearly.
But then, if He can see it and go on, then maybe I can too.
And maybe He can see it and go on, because He sees somethinge else so much more clearly than I--He sees what He wants to do and can do in the situation. He sees what He plans to do--the beauty, the hope, the purifying, the refining--the wonderful redemption He can and wills to bring about. Sometimes I can see a little of what might come, but I need to see more. Father, give me eyes of faith to see what You see, to see, believe, and walk forward in hope.
The pain I see or hear about ... takes a serious toll. This week, the event that 'inspired' Cry for the Children was a baby girl having been given away. The person closer to the situation--also deeply affected and called to action.
Today ... there are bus rides, conversations, and people changing their minds, willing to try to go and find her... and I'm crying again.
Sometimes I think I'm crying tears people don't know to cry for themselves, or tears they've locked away deep inside...waiting for the day to come out.
I'm crying and praying for that baby girl...about 2 weeks old now. Where is she? Father, please protect her, prepare a home for her, a home where she will be loved.
If I sometimes feel I can hardly bear the pain... I wonder how God does it, He sees it so much more clearly.
But then, if He can see it and go on, then maybe I can too.
And maybe He can see it and go on, because He sees somethinge else so much more clearly than I--He sees what He wants to do and can do in the situation. He sees what He plans to do--the beauty, the hope, the purifying, the refining--the wonderful redemption He can and wills to bring about. Sometimes I can see a little of what might come, but I need to see more. Father, give me eyes of faith to see what You see, to see, believe, and walk forward in hope.
Regaining Balance
It's a skill I guess, adjusting all along the way to the things that come...and I'm still trying to figure out how to do it.
I remember, a few years ago, when it became a part of my thinking: "Crises WILL come". At that point it was about crises with students in our program. Before that, something big would happen--a dropping out, an huge illness, even death--and it would throw us off and we'd be scrambling. Then I realized, we needed to anticipate, that crises would come. Once it became part of the thinking, it was easier--easier to allow and plan for the time that things might take, people that might need to be available, etc. We also made a plan for a 24-hour phone that ONE PERSON would carry at a time, and we would not all have to feel like we were all on call 24/7.
Now I need that same thinking again, but in other ways. I need to learn how to do big-picture planning. For that, I need time and space, and listening to God. But then these "crises" come up in the process, and then throw me for a major loop. These ones are of a different nature--people I thought I could rely on to carry a certain load, suddenly back away, and the load, or the decisions that are needed, land back on me. Ugh! What am I supposed to do? Sometimes it happens through miscommunication. Sometimes it is through immaturity. Sometimes it is a result of sudden loads that land on them--family and personal issues--and they have to adjust. For some...there are some things that can be done to prevent, for others ... maybe it just needs to once again become part of my thinking.
Somehow I need to learn to anticipate this sort of thing as part of this life, this job. And to remember...all along my Father knows. He has not been taken by surprise. He knew this would be coming, and he will give all I need for this time.
I don't need to lose my balance, I don't need to overreact. There can be peace each day, no matter what is coming! I do need to learn to plan for a lighter load though, because, things will happen, the load will be heavier than I foresee now.
I remember, a few years ago, when it became a part of my thinking: "Crises WILL come". At that point it was about crises with students in our program. Before that, something big would happen--a dropping out, an huge illness, even death--and it would throw us off and we'd be scrambling. Then I realized, we needed to anticipate, that crises would come. Once it became part of the thinking, it was easier--easier to allow and plan for the time that things might take, people that might need to be available, etc. We also made a plan for a 24-hour phone that ONE PERSON would carry at a time, and we would not all have to feel like we were all on call 24/7.
Now I need that same thinking again, but in other ways. I need to learn how to do big-picture planning. For that, I need time and space, and listening to God. But then these "crises" come up in the process, and then throw me for a major loop. These ones are of a different nature--people I thought I could rely on to carry a certain load, suddenly back away, and the load, or the decisions that are needed, land back on me. Ugh! What am I supposed to do? Sometimes it happens through miscommunication. Sometimes it is through immaturity. Sometimes it is a result of sudden loads that land on them--family and personal issues--and they have to adjust. For some...there are some things that can be done to prevent, for others ... maybe it just needs to once again become part of my thinking.
Somehow I need to learn to anticipate this sort of thing as part of this life, this job. And to remember...all along my Father knows. He has not been taken by surprise. He knew this would be coming, and he will give all I need for this time.
I don't need to lose my balance, I don't need to overreact. There can be peace each day, no matter what is coming! I do need to learn to plan for a lighter load though, because, things will happen, the load will be heavier than I foresee now.
Out of these Ashes
"Out of these ashes, beauty will rise" --Steven Curtis Chapman song
I don't know how.
I don't know when.
But a time is coming.
It will happen.
Sometimes there are brief glimpses into the future, brief ideas of possibility. Something good will come of all the death and destruction that has been. Something good and strong and beautiful will rise out of the pain and distrust.
A new day will dawn.
Light will shine.
Hope will rise.
Joy will flow.
Hope will shine.
And on that day, the tears will be replaced by awe and wonder.
Praise to our God shall resound.
And stories will be told--so many stories.
Stories of redemption.
Stories of rescue.
Stories of dark pits and despair exchanged for purpose and strength.
Stories of violence and abuse exchanged for treasuring and intimacy.
Stories of wimps--gutless, spineless men living only for their own pleasure--becoming men of courage, mighty in the land, respected and honoured by all.
Stories of women--once broken and abused, pandering after affection, not knowing their worth--now standing straight, walking tall, but also bending down...to lift another, encourage the disheartened, extend a hand to the weak.
These are the stories that will be told.
Once the ashes settle.
Once the time of tears comes to an end.
Once the healing bears its fruit.
Once bitten by a snake...
In Chinese it goes this way: 一朝被蛇咬，十年怕井绳, translated: a person once bitten by a snake will for ten years shy at a rope.
Sure, I dropped my stone, but it's all still so very sensitive. I flipped, over-reacted, again today. Oh, it's not just from that long-ago event and related issues, but from another earlier this week that really happened. Today's, was a perception, actually not just perception, but once again, "You did something different from what you said you would do. Can you be trusted at all?"
How do you get over jumping at every little thing that looks like a snake? Is it just a matter of time. And an ongoing series...of dropping the stone, again, and again. Oh, and apologizing for overreacting...
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