I'm starting to get over the shock of being 38. (Actually, I think what it really is about is how close that number is to 40.) It surprised me the way I was thinking about it actually, especially when in this country you answer with your 'next' age long before your actual birthday. I've been saying, "I'm 38 this year," for months!
Anyway, I have now decided to turn my brain in another direction. I'm now thinking about what kind of old lady I want to be, should I have the opportunity to become one.
Earlier in the year I said, "I want to be a spunky old lady!" I still say that.
At someone's blog (I forget whose) I read about him attending a funeral of an elderly man who had been a mentor and inspiration to him many years earlier, but they had lived in different places in recent years. Someone else, though, who had kept up with the older man, commented that he had never stopped learning and growing, and his relationship with the Father was always fresh, right up to the end. I want to be like that. If I make it to the 80's or even 90's, I want to be always learning--from books, from other people of all ages, from God.
And, I want to be an old lady that blesses and encourages, not hurts and tears down, with her words.
That's enough for now. I've got years of work and 'being changed' to do to work on that last one alone.
Will let you know if I have any more old lady dreams. Maybe pursuit of the my old lady dream will stop me from being so shocked at the numbers as they go by, and not so tempted to get to "39 and holding."
Hmmm...I think I'm also going to have to come up with some "Coffin Dreams."
I Wanted To Visit
I wanted to visit you Jesus, really, I did. You said I should, and it's the one thing I've not done in that list. But when the opportunity came, I didn't. And yet I think it was right. You are in prison, and I didn't visit you. I could have tried, but it seemed best not to. See... if I visit you now, then later I might not be able to comfort your kids, and you gave them to me first. I'm not sure the kids understand. I hope they do. I think you do.
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