Tired of Simplistic Faith

God, I'm tired of simplistic faith!

And simplistic teaching on faith

Simplistic lists of sins

That leave most of us feeling 

     self-satisfied with ourselves

     noble in helping others

     along with a little bit of pity

     ...disguised as compassion

"Come to the Cross,

     and everything will be okay"

Really?

That's all it takes?

What does that mean anyway?

Does it help us?

Does it help anyone?

And it bugs me

That this sort of thing is still

So prevalent

It seems we may be

Doing more harm than good

Inoculating people

Against true faith

When they get a chance

To finally hear it

Cross or easy yoke? (part 1)

Which is it?
I know it's both
But how can that be?
They are so opposed
How can you, at the same time, require both?
How can, how does... a cross become an easy yoke?

(From reflections on my readings...one day I read a portion of Matt. 10, and there was the call to "take up your cross," and to die daily. The next day I read the end of Matt. 11, where Jesus says to come to Him for rest, and that His yoke is easy.)

Just.. follow me

(Remembering the journey)

In the pain, confusion and utter aloneness
of this day
I remember a scene from the journey

You and me
coming up to a hill
me the little girl, holding Your hand
You invite me to keep going forward
with You
following You
I cannot consider letting go of Your hand
to go somewhere else
but...
I cannot see what is ahead
so I cling to Your leg

You...
gently reach down
pick me up
carry me
I'm clinging tightly to Your neck

Now
I'm terrified
and exhausted
spent
Lord...
Are you carrying me?

A song comes to mind...

At the end of myself
I'm empty and dry
I have nothing to give
But surrender inside

...

At the end of yourself, just follow Me
When you lose everything, just follow Me
I will give you new life, just follow Me
Follow Me

If at the end of yourself, just follow Me
You may lose everything, just follow Me
I will give you new life, just follow Me
Follow Me

 
I'm at the end of myself
I don't think I did things my own way
... just follow Me
Follow Me

I'll follow
But...
I think You'll need to carry me

The Kingdom is here

Here and now, "the Kingdom is available, 

I just have to want it more than I want anything else... 
At any moment it is that simple."

How do I help others grow spiritually?
"You must arrange your life
so that you are experiencing 
deep contentment, joy and confidence
in your every day life with God."

What? This is about helping them, not about me.

"No, the main thing that you bring to [others]

is the person that you become, 

and that's what everybody will see 

and that's what will get reproduced

and that's what people will believe."

John Ortberg, quoting things learned from Dallas Willard--Session 4, Living in Christ's Presence: Final Words on Heaven and the Kingdom of God

I just have to want it more than I want anything else.
I just have to arrange my life...
This is what will get reproduced...

The Invitation

I'm thankful for God's wooing, His calling, His inviting. He continually calls us back to Himself and what is most important.

I was blessed on Monday by Jer. 23:18, 22, NIV.  The context is talking about false prophets, people who are claiming to speak for God. The Lord says,

18 But which of them has stood in the council of the LORD to see or to hear his word? Who has listened and heard his word? ...

22 But if they had stood in my council, they would have proclaimed my words to my people and would have turned them from their evil ways and from their evil deeds.

The invitation to me these days is to stand in the council of the Lord, to spend more time in His presence. The things I do and have to share with others must flow from Him, from being in His council, hearing His direction. And then, maybe my words and actions will really have impact in the lives of those around me.  It's not easy. I'm so distracted. There are so many things that are hard all swimming around in my head. More than anything I need to pour them out before Him and get His perspective, but pouring it out is not easy either.

I'm so thankful for a patient and loving God, who promises to continually lead and guide. He promises. I'm counting on it!

Who else? What else? Why?

     O Lord, who else or what else can I desire but you? You are my Lord, Lord of my heart, mind, and soul. You know me through and through. In and through you everything that is finds its origin and goal. You embrace all that exists and care for it with divine love and compassion. Why, then, do I keep expecting happiness and satisfaction outside of you? Why do I keep relating to you as one of my many relationships, instead of my only relationship, in which all other ones are grounded? Why do I keep looking for popularity, respect from others, success, acclaim, and sensual pleasures? Why, Lord, is it so hard for me to make you the only one? Why do I keep hesitating to surrender myself totally to you?
     Help me, O Lord, to let my old self die, to let die the thousand big and small ways in which I am still building up my false self and trying to cling to my false desires. Let me be reborn in you and see through you the world in hte right way, so that all my actions, words, and thought can become a hymn of praise to you.
     I need your loving grace to travel on this hard road that leads to the death of my old self and to a new life in and for you. I know and trust that this is the road to freedom.
     Lord, dispel my mistrust and help me become a trusting friend. Amen.
--from A Cry for mercy by Henry J. M. Nouwen

found in:  A Guide to Prayer for Ministers and Other Servants, p. 149

To be a disciple, make disciples...

Am I a disciple?
Does what I teach, share and live before others others have a tendency to result in them being disciples?

For the first question: I thought I was, I thought I was intending to be one. And then I realized I really was NOT changing.  In the end, I'm not sure I really knew what that meant. I say, "Dallas Willard saved my life," my Christian life, that is--about nine years ago, picked up his book The Divine Conspiracy, flipping through, felt hope...and that was a turning point in my life.

About the second question: I realized what I was taught growing up, was really way off, it ignored much of the teaching of Scripture, especially how to live life in the kingdom now. Definitely a "believe these things about Jesus and then you'll get to heaven when you die" "gospel" that was preached. A non-accurate "gospel." (By the way, in session 5 I believe, he talks about realizing some of the same things himself--when a young minister, realizing what he was teaching wasn't changing lives. He tells about the truths that "saved his faith.")

In the past couple of weeks I've been in discussion about this author/speaker/philosopher, and heard about this video series, I've been listening again, and loving it! His manner and explanations are so inviting, calling me to godliness and goodness.

I truly thank God for, in this time in history, leading this man, leading me to that book when I was crying out for help, and leading me into a new life.

It's a 12 part series--here is part 1. Enjoy!

Let this be my LIFE

⁴ The Sovereign Lord has given me his words of wisdom,
    so that I know how to comfort the weary.
Morning by morning he wakens me
    and opens my understanding to his will.
⁵ The Sovereign Lord has spoken to me,
    and I have listened.
    I have not rebelled or turned away.
Isa. 50:4-5, NLT

Can You Not Trust Me?

I can still the storm
I created you
I have led you this far

Time and again, I have provided
I have promised to always be with you
To never leave you nor forsake you
I have promised this to you
Again and again
And I have proven it to you
Again and again

Today, these days
I am speaking to you
Yes, it is Me
I am speaking
You have learned to hear My voice
You are My sheep, My child
You know My voice
And follow

There are many things before you
Many options
You're overwhelmed
Confused
Scared
You doubt you've heard
You doubt your ability
You don't want to be a fool
But neither do you want to miss this
You don't want to miss the possibility
The potential
You offered your life to me
To use for My glory
I'm taking it
I'm going to use it
I will do mighty things
That you may or may not see

But
Can you not trust me?
Put away your fear
Live in my love
Live in my joy
Live free

Can you not trust me...
For the deepest longings of your heart
To be with you and guide you every step of the way
To watch over and protect you
To provide all you need
    the people you need
    the strength you need
    the insight you need
    all the resources you need
    the way through
That I am leading you and using you
    even when you can't see it
Beyond all your fears
Beyond your weaknesses
Beyond the ways you have failed in the past
Beyond any way you could fail in the future

Trust me with your life
Trust me with your days
Trust me each moment
I am your God
I am your Father
I will be faithful to you
I will always be faithful to you
I will never leave you
I will never abandon you
I love you and will watch over you
I will guide you with My righteous right hand
I will hold you and protect you
You are mine

Trust me
Put away your fear
Live in my love
Live in my joy
Live free


"The Lord is with you, mighty woman of valour....Go with the strength you have...I am sending you....I will be with you."
"You are such a soldier, and the Father is really with you."
Do not be afraid 

Should I quit

Should I quit
Walk away
Leave 
May it be
Because it is
Your best plan
Your good time
Your faithful hand guiding

May it not be
My weariness
Frustration
Life exploding
Or imploding
Because I did not learn
To follow You
And lead self

May it be in peace
With love
Joy
And blessing
Mutually shared
Not anger
Hurt
Frustration
Resentment
Relief to be done

And then
May it be
Not a "quit"
But a healthy
And exciting "transition"
Timely
All things left
In the most capable hands

And until then
If there ever is a "then"
May thoughts
And words
Like "quit"
Be banished
May there be resilience
And perseverance
And hope
That there will still be
Strength enough
Provision in time
And may there be
The knowledge
That these trials
Are producing
Something more precious
Than gold 

Let us not become weary in doing good, 

for at the proper time we will reap a harvest 

if we do not give up.  

Gal. 6:9 NIV

Written August 17, 2013



(There is more coming on this theme...)

The river...again...

I was supposed to be on this river again today, but it didn't happen. Sudden deadlines came up for some, and we needed to re-evaluate and flex and plans needed to change. The change may be for the best, for now we can do something else that we need to do, but could not find time to put in the schedule this week--we need to reflect and celebrate. I need to facilitate a good ending for this group that has been entrusted to me, to us, for these weeks. In the end, it will probably be more meaningful than a day at the waterfall and on the river.

But that previous post, is also where I am again today.

    Once again I am surrounded
    and wonder
    Where will they go from here
    ...

    And I wonder
    where will we go from here
    my colleagues and I
    we're exhausted
    we've run hard
    worked hard
    developed something
    ...

    But do we have what it takes to go forward?
    the energy and heart, the passion
    the skills
    the commitment
    ... 

    Lord,
    Creator of this river
    You who know it's source
    and where it goes
    Lead my life
    All my days
    As I follow
   

Vine

What they will see
is the fruit
and that's okay
but my focus
is on You
Your love
Your words
in me
You in me
Me in You
Loving You
Obeying
just as You
love the Father
and do everything He says
and the fruit will be...
many things
and joy
overflowing joy
I will experience these
but they are not my focus
and if anyone else sees
and enjoys
great
if not
it really doesn't matter
for I am free
and enjoying the life
in You
You in me

Jn. 15:1-17

Shepherd, pt 1

You
come openly
appropriately
know my name
lead me out

I
recognize You
know Your voice
come to You
hear Your call
and follow
because
I know Your voice

You
purpose to give
LIFE
a rich and satisfying life
(NOT steal, kill and destroy)

You
sacrifice Yourself
for me

You
will never abandon me
because You
really care

You
know me
and I
know You
together with the others
under Your watchful care
You know us
we know You

Jn. 10:1-16

How do I love You?

You say I must love You with all my heart and soul and mind and strength. This has been my meditation for the past two days, and numerous times in the past as well. But...how do I love You?

Last week, coming home on a bus, after a busy weekend, pondering the ways You had once again provided, once again shown me I did not need to fret... As I gazed on the beauty around me, from my heart welled an, "Ah, I love You God."  It doesn't happen for me like that very often--that feeling welling up, that immediate awareness...but does that mean I don't love You those other times?

The second command, is like the first, I must love my neighbour as myself. I think, when I love my neighbour, I'm loving You, and sometimes maybe I can see how to do this one better than the first, yet I'm often horrible at this one too.

I loved her last night, but it was You in me loving her. That I noticed her, went over and put my arm around her, wanted to talk with her, even though it was late...I don't know why, I think it was You. The 'crazy lady' ...but she was "in her right mind" last night, easier than usual to talk to her and be with her. And then I noticed her hand, or maybe it was You that noticed--the infection in the wound, and though it was late, we did the hot salt-water compresses, then antibiotic ointment and bandage. It was You loving her and me loving You as I loved "the least of these". How is it me loving You when it is first You loving me and compelling love?

So...how do I love You?

Today I remembered a Misty Edwards song, and in looking for that one, found an even better one: "Simple Devotion". Ah, this I can do...maybe this is my love for You.

Over and over and over and over again

I will stir up my soul to lay hold of You

Over and over and over and over again

I will stir up my soul to lay hold of that

which I cannot comprehend

...

this is my simple devotion

my walk of faith, day by day

All I can do...is to keep coming, attempting to "stir up my soul to lay hold of You", and ...You receive it. This song--You looking "over the balcony of heaven," is that how excited You get, over my feeble attempts at loving You? But, from the beginning to the end, it is You that compels and completes it, so...how is it me loving You?  How do I love You?

In this lifetime Lord, may I learn to love You.

Misty Edwards
Simple Devotion (Listen and watch here)

Over and over and over and over again
I will stir up my soul to lay hold of You
Over and over and over and over again
I will stir up my soul to lay hold of
That which I cannot comprehend
Over and over and over and over again
Over and over and over and over again

And then I'll just lean into sovereignty
I'll embrace a mystery
And I'll just rest in You
As I bathe in truth
Over and over and over and over again
This is my simple devotion
My walk of faith, day by day
Over and over and over and over again

And then I hear You say
As You gaze over the balcony of heaven
I hear You say as You peer through the lattice of time
I hear You say as You stand in heaven
I hear You say as You rejoice over me
"O Angels! O Angels! Look and see!
Through that dark night of faith
She is gazing at Me!
O Angels! O Angels! Look and see!
Through that cloud of unknowing
She's gazing at Me!
And You have ravished My heart
My sister, My bride
With one glance of your eye!"
Over and over and over and over again..."

Jesus Wept

You enter into our pain
   our confusion
You feel our sorrow
   and are not indifferent
I know You see from a bigger
   and broader perspective
If I knew what You know
   maybe I would not be weeping now
But You know I don't
   and are willing to sit here
   with me
   weep with me
   in the ache of the waiting...unknowing
Do You also weep at the things that hurt us
   undone by our own undoing
Even then You are not unmoved
   and come to our rescue
   for we cannot rescue ourselves

Jn. 11:35 (1-44)

The greatest thing

is to Serve

sacrifice

give

patiently listen

patiently teach

pray

notice

offer a presence

that allows her to weep

then pray again

give again

listen again

"The rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them...
It shall not be so among you.
But whoever would be great among you
must be your servant,
and whoever would be first among you
must be your slave, 
even as the Son of Man
came not to be served
but to serve, 
and to give His life
as a ransom for many."
Mt. 20:25-29

Don't Follow Me (Remembering the Journey)

(Remembering the Journey--written July, 2012)

I too have lost my way
I thought I knew where I was going
I thought this would be good
for you
for me
but now I am not so sure
so
don't follow me
I need to leave you
to go
find my way again
I'm not sure
I know how to navigate the trail
you should find
better guides
I must leave you now
at least for a time
if I find
my step does not so falter
perhaps I can come back
and once again
walk together


--this one--written for whom? Perhaps the sister I was mentoring, perhaps all those I was supposed to be leading, but realizing the need to first do a better job of leading myself before I had any right, any authority to speak to others.  With all the tension that was there, and some differences of opinion...I was questioning my own judgement...needed to back away. The apprehensions regarding sister and situations she was in, proved to be more wise than not...


"Remembering the Journey"--posts discovered in 'drafts'. Posted now for me to remember...remember the journey...where we have been, where He has brought me...