Hurtin...

This hurt
This pain
Jesus...only You can fill me
Heal me

This hurt
This disappointment
Not getting what I so desperately wanted
Or
Realizing what I thought was there
Didn't really exist after all

Was it wrong to want
To share the journey
To enjoy companionship in the struggle
I thought we were
I thought that's where we were going

Did I put too much hope in human relationships
Wanting filled what only You can fill?
Maybe
And yet You designed us for community
So
Not completely

I thought we were sharing life
I was sharing...
But it didn't come back
Or maybe just not the way I wanted
Was I hoping and asking for too much?
That feeling of being left hanging
Again

It feels like
Rejection
Not worthy
Not good enough
Being duped
Used 
Misled
Then abandoned

It hurts
I turn to You

2 comments:

about the long and winding road... said...

Though I walk in those shadow lands of pain..you are with me. Sorry dear for this journey of grief and disappointment. H

Traveller said...

Thanks Heidi! It's feelings...there are other truths beyond those feelings, and ways I have done wrong too...leading to this result. Ah...still the longing, for people to stay with you, even when you fail. Ah, I will get past this. Hopefully I'll learn to love better.

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