Widow of Zarephath

You ask of me
what you asked of her

there she was
such limited resources
use up
this little bit
feed son
and self
then die

You asked her to give
even that

she did
spent the last little bit
on You first
and found
there was
enough
again
the next day

and I've wondered
I have so little left
should I be stopping
to recharge
is going on
foolishness
stubborn self-sufficiency
arrogance

You asked me to
like her
spend what I have
for this day
and trust
tomorrow
there will be enough
for that day

I did
the next day
there was more
I don't know how many days
will go on like this
I don't know when I'll again see
reserves
plenty

I'm trusting Lord
I haven't yet stopped
I've been living this way
for more than three weeks now
since you spoke to me
about her
and I've seen You provide
I only have enough for each day
and for each day
what there is is limited
but there has been enough
thank You

     On April 21st, I was on a bus with a colleague in a neighbouring province, coming back from our annual offsite planning meetings. We had worked hard to plan, knowing our limitations, but still I was concerned. I have so little energy. We are so short staffed. Then emergencies come, and things take a toll I hadn't expected. I was listening to a message by Gary Thomas--'Common Blessings'. He mentioned this widow and her story for a totally different reason (only later, after her son was raised did she believe...after all that previous daily miracle). But I wondered if the above was what God was speaking to me. 

     One week later, I was on another bus, praying again--"God, I'm so tired, are there changes we should make to plans? How can we do this?" I had no sense of Him leading to drop things, or cancel. (Two years ago, I did cancel the summer programs, when it seemed we needed to--a very hard call to make, but the right one at the time.) An hour later I heard the news, there were plans in the works, others were already talking and planning to come to help, what a relief! Their coming--is still work--relieves some work and adds some work, the relief MUCH MORE than the add. And since then, ideas and strategies are coming about the energy, and there has been enough.

     Sometimes we are tired and need to stop. Sometimes we need to keep going, but always it needs to happen by His leading. Here I am LORD, still following, learning to trust. Thank you for what is needed for each day. You only promise what is needed for each day...but I really don't need any more than that anyway.