All I've ever been

I've wondered
Should we take them on again
The same as we've been doing for the past 6-7 years...
Get recommendations for 20-30 new students
And help them through high school

Are we too tired
Will we burn out
Can we do it when we are so short-staffed

When I think of just saying "no" this year
I suddenly think
They would be out there still
Students...
Who have lost mom's and dad's
Who are hurting, needing comfort
May go off to work at 15 or 16 without high school
How can I hold back
In the face of this need
When we could help

Then I think
But what's the point of "helping"
When the helping is so limited
If all we can do is give some money and a meal a week
And send them off to school
Who am I kidding
There is so much they need that we don't give
Don't even come close to supplying

And I remember You
Sometimes in the face of great need
You simply turned and walked away
Need, apparently, wasn't Your highest call

And what I have to offer
I know it's never been enough
It's always been ludicrous
I've always been
Just a kid
With a few loaves and fish
Offering what I have
And in Your hands
It can become plenty
More than enough

And so here I am
Offering again
It's all I can do
Woe to me if I do not offer
All I have

How to offer
What it means
I'm still listening