"I just like to stay pretty much connected all the time"--a fellow traveller in an airport waiting room. Cringe. "Why?" I thought, feeling, and imagining the life getting sucked out of me.
"Tour Europe--5 countries in 8 days"--advertisement in a travel agency. Cringe. Who would want to? What would you actually get out of that? What would you enjoy? Wouldn't it be almost arrogant to then feel like you had actually seen the countries? What would be the benefit of rushing by everything? How exhausting!
I feel things differently than I used to. I'm so much more aware of the toll on my mind and heart. I think I'm learning to live different as a result, but I still need to practice.
Leighton Ford's The Attentive Life: Discerning God's Presence in All Things speaks to what I am more trying to emulate now. He says, "I no longer regard it as a compliment if someone says, 'Leighton can do three things at one time.' Instead I take it as a rueful reminder: do one thing at a time, slow down, take time to breathe, to pray, to remember what has just happened with gratitude (or regret), to prepare my heart and mind for what comes next instead of rushing ahead with an overstuffed mind."
Cost: Feeling like I am disappointing people, feeling guilty that I am not giving all I can or helping as much as I should.
Benefit: Presence--being able to be really present with people when I am there, and more present to God and what He is doing in and around me, more clear that I am responding to His voice rather than just my own compulsions.
What if...
What if we lived with absolutely no pretense
What if there was never any 'spin'
never ... ever!
What if we were truly humble
all of the time
What if there were absolutely no secrets
nothing hidden ... ever!
What if we always and regularly confessed
all of our sins ... to each other
What if this was the church
We we be so free
We could dance
We could cry
There would be hope
We could actually change
What if there was never any 'spin'
never ... ever!
What if we were truly humble
all of the time
What if there were absolutely no secrets
nothing hidden ... ever!
What if we always and regularly confessed
all of our sins ... to each other
What if this was the church
We we be so free
We could dance
We could cry
There would be hope
We could actually change
Living Wide Open
I will not die an unlived life.
I will not live in fear
of falling or catching fire.
I choose to inhabit my days,
to allow my living to open me,
to make me less afraid,
more accessible;
to loosen my heart
until it becomes a wing,
a torch, a promise.
I choose to risk my significance,
to live so that which came to me as seed
goes to the next as blossom,
and that which came to me as blossom,
goes on as fruit.
of falling or catching fire.
I choose to inhabit my days,
to allow my living to open me,
to make me less afraid,
more accessible;
to loosen my heart
until it becomes a wing,
a torch, a promise.
I choose to risk my significance,
to live so that which came to me as seed
goes to the next as blossom,
and that which came to me as blossom,
goes on as fruit.
–Dawna Markova
This poem struck me when I first read it on someone's blog, it grabbed me when I read it again today. Yes, even though I've been feeling like 'my heart's been ripped out of me' in recent weeks, I choose not to step back, recoil, stop loving, stop trusting. I must, and I will, continue to risk. Interesting how energizing it feels, to make this choice, and choose to view events this way.
Christmas Eve, Then and Now
"Then" was Mary, Joseph and Jesus, in a stable. "Now" is me in an airport. How similar? How different?
We're all on a journey, spending the night away from home in less than comfortable surroundings. Glad I'm not nine months pregnant--giving birth in such a place, and thankful that the smell here is quite...normal--no barn smells. Although I'm pretty exhausted, the rigours that have caused mine are different from theirs.
They didn't seem to complain, at least we don't hear about it. I haven't been complaining either. Kind of used to this routine. Perhaps we've all learned to trust God as the one over and above our circumstances...well, sometimes I can trust Him this way.
Mary, travelled accompanied by her loving husband, in the company of other travellers in similar situations, and in the presence of God...inside of her. I wonder if she felt like she was in the presence of God. No husband here. I am in the company of others whose flights have been delayed. I, too, travel in the presence of God, though I have had virtually no 'inspiring thoughts' or meaningful impulses. As much as I had wanted to enjoy advent meditations, and be moved and reflective, jetlag and a head cold have dulled all such thoughts. No sense of connection with God, being led by Him, or what He might be saying to me this day, at this season.
As they travelled was it in the awareness of the great purpose they were to fulfill, or just because they had to? They were aware of part of the purpose of their situation. Did they remember the Bethlehem part of the prophecies? Or did they fulfill important purposes just in the living and doing what needed to be done each day? My purpose in this trip is not nearly as grand as theirs, but theirs was for them and mine is for me. I'm aware of some of the purpose, but wonder if there might be more that I don't know.
We're all on a journey, spending the night away from home in less than comfortable surroundings. Glad I'm not nine months pregnant--giving birth in such a place, and thankful that the smell here is quite...normal--no barn smells. Although I'm pretty exhausted, the rigours that have caused mine are different from theirs.
They didn't seem to complain, at least we don't hear about it. I haven't been complaining either. Kind of used to this routine. Perhaps we've all learned to trust God as the one over and above our circumstances...well, sometimes I can trust Him this way.
Mary, travelled accompanied by her loving husband, in the company of other travellers in similar situations, and in the presence of God...inside of her. I wonder if she felt like she was in the presence of God. No husband here. I am in the company of others whose flights have been delayed. I, too, travel in the presence of God, though I have had virtually no 'inspiring thoughts' or meaningful impulses. As much as I had wanted to enjoy advent meditations, and be moved and reflective, jetlag and a head cold have dulled all such thoughts. No sense of connection with God, being led by Him, or what He might be saying to me this day, at this season.
As they travelled was it in the awareness of the great purpose they were to fulfill, or just because they had to? They were aware of part of the purpose of their situation. Did they remember the Bethlehem part of the prophecies? Or did they fulfill important purposes just in the living and doing what needed to be done each day? My purpose in this trip is not nearly as grand as theirs, but theirs was for them and mine is for me. I'm aware of some of the purpose, but wonder if there might be more that I don't know.
Wishing for Extremes
Oh how I wish the answer to how to live could be found living in the extremes. This trying to figure out and then live the delicate middle is so hard--I'm so doomed to failure.
So long in this Country
I've lived in this country so long, practically all my life. I often don't really know how strange, how odd, its customs are for others. To me, some are just so basic. So...the other day I was talking to someone, and I couldn't believe it. He didn't know that we should stand up for the weak and oppressed. He didn't know that if a child was being beaten (as in violence, in anger, not restrained and limited discipline) that someone else should come to the rescue and it's a shame when no one does. Earlier we had been walking along, and he was surprised that I was noticing others around me. "And you didn't?" I said, "That woman...she was walking along crying before she turned into that house. That other woman who was shouting as the man was trying to pull her into the car..."
A few weeks ago I realized--I've been so long in this country, enjoying its benefits, that I think I take them for granted, forgetting to be grateful--to live in grace, and love, to know that there is new mercy and new strength for each day. May I never take it for granted.
And still, for as long as I've been here, and as much as the culture is part of me, there is still much that is strange, much that is not yet fully my own. While I live in such grace, I extend it as freely as it has come to me. While I am learning to understand and appreciate that the best and most real work happening within me is slow, and even though others cannot see it, it counts, and IS progress. Yet I can be so impatient with others and their battles--shouldn't they just grow faster!
The longer I live here, though, the more I like it. Love it really! The life is so much more extraordinarily free, and full, than I could have ever hoped or imagined. The options are numerous. The emotions encompass the heights and the depths. And I love that there is always HOPE--for me, for others--no matter what has happened, there is always the hope of a new life and a better future.
In this Kingdom, with this King...where else would I rather be? Except ... finally ... maybe ... a little closer.
A few weeks ago I realized--I've been so long in this country, enjoying its benefits, that I think I take them for granted, forgetting to be grateful--to live in grace, and love, to know that there is new mercy and new strength for each day. May I never take it for granted.
And still, for as long as I've been here, and as much as the culture is part of me, there is still much that is strange, much that is not yet fully my own. While I live in such grace, I extend it as freely as it has come to me. While I am learning to understand and appreciate that the best and most real work happening within me is slow, and even though others cannot see it, it counts, and IS progress. Yet I can be so impatient with others and their battles--shouldn't they just grow faster!
The longer I live here, though, the more I like it. Love it really! The life is so much more extraordinarily free, and full, than I could have ever hoped or imagined. The options are numerous. The emotions encompass the heights and the depths. And I love that there is always HOPE--for me, for others--no matter what has happened, there is always the hope of a new life and a better future.
In this Kingdom, with this King...where else would I rather be? Except ... finally ... maybe ... a little closer.
Stopped…by the sound of children
Busy… anxious… intent on getting lots done
Frustrated … by all the stupid silly obstacles that keep coming up
Can’t figure out how to work better
Can’t figure out…
“oh oh… hi hi… ah ah…”
Another email. Done. Yay
Website updated. Yay
Great, I’m getting things done today.
“hi hi …. oh oh…”
I stop, open the window… look down and enjoy
Five and six year olds just out of school
walking home, backpacks on their backs
and singing…
“hi hi… ho ho…”
I don’t know what they are singing…
actually there is just one that is
but it’s beautiful
carefree
and I could be too
I could smile
I could saunter down the road
“hi hi… ho ho… ah ah…”
Who cares what else is going on
Doesn’t matter the load that is on my plate
The sun is shining
Good God up in heaven has everything under His control
And He loves me
He enjoys me
Help me to stop and enjoy this day, this life You’ve given.
Hope Rising
Today the new season starts. It's a new semester for students starting school. It's the time when I plan and adjust my and our daily and weekly schedule, trying to figure out what needs adjusting, what are the priorities, and how it will all fit together.
It's a time that can be really overwhelming, and hard, and this time even more so as so much seems up in the air. One pretty vital staff member is leaving. Financing and planning for the students is needing to change. Our office is needing some gifts and abilities that I don't have, and don't know how train for. It could be a pretty overwhelming time.
Yet today, I sense hope rising. I put my trust in God's unfailing love and faithfulness. He knows. He has brought me and us to this point now. I'm thankful that He is calling me to spend a lot more time with Him and learning from Him, and at the same has me in circumstances where I cannot forget that I desperately need Him. He will direct and lead. He will give insight for the rhythms of life that need to be in place to keep me hearing in His presence. He will give ideas, maybe even very fresh ones, that meet the needs. He will strengthen me for the work of each day, for it pleases Him to make me stong. And I can joyfully walk in the light of His presence each day.
Happy are those who hear the joyful call to worship,
for they will walk in the light of your presence, LORD.
They rejoice all day long in your wonderful reputation.
They exult in your righteousness.
You are their glorious strength.
It pleases you to make us strong.
Yes, our protection comes from the LORD,
and he, the Holy One of Israel, has given us our king.
Ps 89:15-18 NLT
It's a time that can be really overwhelming, and hard, and this time even more so as so much seems up in the air. One pretty vital staff member is leaving. Financing and planning for the students is needing to change. Our office is needing some gifts and abilities that I don't have, and don't know how train for. It could be a pretty overwhelming time.
Yet today, I sense hope rising. I put my trust in God's unfailing love and faithfulness. He knows. He has brought me and us to this point now. I'm thankful that He is calling me to spend a lot more time with Him and learning from Him, and at the same has me in circumstances where I cannot forget that I desperately need Him. He will direct and lead. He will give insight for the rhythms of life that need to be in place to keep me hearing in His presence. He will give ideas, maybe even very fresh ones, that meet the needs. He will strengthen me for the work of each day, for it pleases Him to make me stong. And I can joyfully walk in the light of His presence each day.
for they will walk in the light of your presence, LORD.
They rejoice all day long in your wonderful reputation.
They exult in your righteousness.
You are their glorious strength.
It pleases you to make us strong.
Yes, our protection comes from the LORD,
and he, the Holy One of Israel, has given us our king.
Ps 89:15-18 NLT
Street Food
It's one of the great delights of life, and of travel--the miscellaneous morsels sold by street vendors that you can pick up for a song as you walk about. Where I live it's the rolled noodle lunches in the summer and the barbeque (on a stick) all year--tofu skin, cabbage, potatoes, pork, all barbequed, and then with their pickled salad on top--mmm!! Well, the description does is not nearly as great as the reality! In Hong Kong, it's a tradition to stop and buy the egg balls. Now, in Thailand, I'm enjoying the fruit--pineapple and mango especially. The other day I had a roasted banana, cut in pieces and on a stick, with a lite caramel sauce--all for about 15 cents CAD. A noodles or wonton breakfast was less than a dollar, and fresh squeezed orange juice about 30 cents. The barbequed chicken really smells good too.
Ah, simple pleasures in this life we live.
(Oh, btw, you might want to keep some charcoal (medicinal kind) on hand in case you wake up in the night with your stomach feeling a little odd--take 2 or 3 and you'll be good to go, enjoying street food again the next day.)
Ah, simple pleasures in this life we live.
(Oh, btw, you might want to keep some charcoal (medicinal kind) on hand in case you wake up in the night with your stomach feeling a little odd--take 2 or 3 and you'll be good to go, enjoying street food again the next day.)
Danger
"There is no greater proof in the world of our spiritual danger than the reluctance which most people always have and all people sometimes have to pray; so weary of their length, so glad when they are done, so clever to excuse and neglect their opportunity. Yet prayer is nothing but desiring God to give us the greatest and best things we can have and that can make us happy. It is a work so easy, so honorable, and to so great a purpose, that (except in the incarnation of His Son) God has never given us a greater argument of His willingness to have us saved and our unwillingness to accept it, of His goodness and our gracelessness, of His infinite condescension and our folly, than by rewarding so easy a duty with such great blessings."
Jeremy Taylor, quoted in The Divine Hours: Prayers for Autumn and Wintertime, p. 648
Jeremy Taylor, quoted in The Divine Hours: Prayers for Autumn and Wintertime, p. 648
Old Lady Dreams
I'm starting to get over the shock of being 38. (Actually, I think what it really is about is how close that number is to 40.) It surprised me the way I was thinking about it actually, especially when in this country you answer with your 'next' age long before your actual birthday. I've been saying, "I'm 38 this year," for months!
Anyway, I have now decided to turn my brain in another direction. I'm now thinking about what kind of old lady I want to be, should I have the opportunity to become one.
Earlier in the year I said, "I want to be a spunky old lady!" I still say that.
At someone's blog (I forget whose) I read about him attending a funeral of an elderly man who had been a mentor and inspiration to him many years earlier, but they had lived in different places in recent years. Someone else, though, who had kept up with the older man, commented that he had never stopped learning and growing, and his relationship with the Father was always fresh, right up to the end. I want to be like that. If I make it to the 80's or even 90's, I want to be always learning--from books, from other people of all ages, from God.
And, I want to be an old lady that blesses and encourages, not hurts and tears down, with her words.
That's enough for now. I've got years of work and 'being changed' to do to work on that last one alone.
Will let you know if I have any more old lady dreams. Maybe pursuit of the my old lady dream will stop me from being so shocked at the numbers as they go by, and not so tempted to get to "39 and holding."
Hmmm...I think I'm also going to have to come up with some "Coffin Dreams."
Anyway, I have now decided to turn my brain in another direction. I'm now thinking about what kind of old lady I want to be, should I have the opportunity to become one.
Earlier in the year I said, "I want to be a spunky old lady!" I still say that.
At someone's blog (I forget whose) I read about him attending a funeral of an elderly man who had been a mentor and inspiration to him many years earlier, but they had lived in different places in recent years. Someone else, though, who had kept up with the older man, commented that he had never stopped learning and growing, and his relationship with the Father was always fresh, right up to the end. I want to be like that. If I make it to the 80's or even 90's, I want to be always learning--from books, from other people of all ages, from God.
And, I want to be an old lady that blesses and encourages, not hurts and tears down, with her words.
That's enough for now. I've got years of work and 'being changed' to do to work on that last one alone.
Will let you know if I have any more old lady dreams. Maybe pursuit of the my old lady dream will stop me from being so shocked at the numbers as they go by, and not so tempted to get to "39 and holding."
Hmmm...I think I'm also going to have to come up with some "Coffin Dreams."
I Wanted To Visit
I wanted to visit you Jesus, really, I did. You said I should, and it's the one thing I've not done in that list. But when the opportunity came, I didn't. And yet I think it was right. You are in prison, and I didn't visit you. I could have tried, but it seemed best not to. See... if I visit you now, then later I might not be able to comfort your kids, and you gave them to me first. I'm not sure the kids understand. I hope they do. I think you do.
Why so Snarly?
I wish I was different, better. I wish what was in me, and comes out more easily under stress and when tired, looked better when it reveals itself. Different people, different surroundings, a different schedule and different pressures...have revealed the same old ME. Impatience (a little stretching and testing shouldn't be a problem). Irritability and pride (so what if they doubt me at every turn, does it really matter?)
I noticed some others this week too. Two couples--one--the words, the attitudes, not really what I imagine a lifetime of following should look like. Oh they were basically nice and kind, but there were those strained times...the kind I know about. Are those areas given over to Him? Can He grow them?
The other couple--I was inspired! In so many little ways, I could see the real LIFE in them and through them. The way they talked with each other, the grace and joy and laughter for easy conversation with those they knew and strangers they were meeting. Although at least in their 7th decade, they were so relevant. Yes, this is, I think, what it means to have a life transformed by Jesus. This is the life I want for myself.
This couple gives me hope.
This couple shows the way.
Yet they also show the cost.
Am I willing, to change my life and schedule, to such a degree that He has full access to me, so that the refining can really happen in earnest?
I noticed some others this week too. Two couples--one--the words, the attitudes, not really what I imagine a lifetime of following should look like. Oh they were basically nice and kind, but there were those strained times...the kind I know about. Are those areas given over to Him? Can He grow them?
The other couple--I was inspired! In so many little ways, I could see the real LIFE in them and through them. The way they talked with each other, the grace and joy and laughter for easy conversation with those they knew and strangers they were meeting. Although at least in their 7th decade, they were so relevant. Yes, this is, I think, what it means to have a life transformed by Jesus. This is the life I want for myself.
This couple gives me hope.
This couple shows the way.
Yet they also show the cost.
Am I willing, to change my life and schedule, to such a degree that He has full access to me, so that the refining can really happen in earnest?
Born with the "Why?"
Why is it
that I was born with the “why?”
And I really was
ask my mom
It’s in me, central to my life
Yet it irritates, frustrates
even angers
others
Don't they ask
why?
Why not?
The answer is so important
And must be evaluated,
Is it worth the action that follows?
But first comes the why
What is it, the reason behind
the action?
the feeling?
the knot in the stomach?
the outburst of anger?
the job move?
the educational pursuits?
the time spent doing ____?
the kiss?
the hug?
the fist?
the hit?
the escape?
the embrace?
the joy?
the pain?
the courage?
the endurance?
the persistence?
Why?
And why change?
Why grow?
Why love?
Why give?
Why serve?
Why risk?
Why live?
King Jesus
all my why's
somehow lead back to you
are related to you
You gave me this life -- Why?
that I was born with the “why?”
And I really was
ask my mom
It’s in me, central to my life
Yet it irritates, frustrates
even angers
others
Don't they ask
why?
Why not?
The answer is so important
And must be evaluated,
Is it worth the action that follows?
But first comes the why
What is it, the reason behind
the action?
the feeling?
the knot in the stomach?
the outburst of anger?
the job move?
the educational pursuits?
the time spent doing ____?
the kiss?
the hug?
the fist?
the hit?
the escape?
the embrace?
the joy?
the pain?
the courage?
the endurance?
the persistence?
Why?
And why change?
Why grow?
Why love?
Why give?
Why serve?
Why risk?
Why live?
King Jesus
all my why's
somehow lead back to you
are related to you
You gave me this life -- Why?
In Memorandum
You Would be Two
I don't know why I thought of you today
You would be two now
plus a couple of monthsYou would be two now
And your sister
older by at least nine
You would be laughing, dancing, running
Eyes full of light and lifetalking, singing
Had you been allowed to live
Why did the thought of you, of both of you
come pouring at me todayOf how you left...
one, to who knows where
you locked in a room
your mother not allowed to feed you
till the cries grew weaker
and stopped
and you were taken and buried, only your father knows where
("father" NOT a title he is worthy of)
Your blood cries out
Probably your mom cries tooWhy she went back to him
What's happening now
Is there another child
also in danger?
God save this one
If it's a boy, the father will let him live
Let him live, but please, save him from the father and his father
Leadership is...
We were coming back from a countryside school where there was a new principal. Just a couple of days earlier, at another school, my colleague found that their principal was new too. The second one confirmed that this was the same for a lot of schools in the county. Sitting beside me on the bus was someone who works in one of the townships, and has been moved around to different ones and in different leadership positions. Questioning him about that, he replied, "There are some things that are just hard to do, so you need to change often." For his positions two years is about how long he is one place. I still thought it strange. Wouldn't you be able to lead better once you were there longer and understood the local situation better? He finally spelled it out real clearly: "When you're in a place and people know your weaknesses, then they don't listen to you." Ah...so that's it.
I've been doing a lot of reading in Colossians lately--"the kingdom of the Son He loves" jumped out at me. I've been pondering this King, and what His leadership in His kingdom looks like--primarily from how those 3 years with His followers looked. He did not 'lord it over' others. He was completely authentic. He was so patient with His slow to learn followers. He won them over by who He was.
Today we had a meeting in our office. One hour of the time was devoted to each one (three of us) bringing up ideas from "Transform Your Workplace," that we could see could be applied or done better in our work situation. Ouch, some of it was hard, as some of MY 'weaknesses' came to light. I still don't know what to do in response to some. Gee, life would sure be easier if those I lead didn't know me so well. Maybe it's time for a switch of positions. Nah. I must choose another way, a way that requires more of me. How I need King Jesus to teach me humility. I need to listen for the truth in what was said, and change and grow where needed. Are there things that the other doesn't quite understand of the other side of the picture? Maybe, but I need to be careful not to 'spin' in my favour.
I've been doing a lot of reading in Colossians lately--"the kingdom of the Son He loves" jumped out at me. I've been pondering this King, and what His leadership in His kingdom looks like--primarily from how those 3 years with His followers looked. He did not 'lord it over' others. He was completely authentic. He was so patient with His slow to learn followers. He won them over by who He was.
Today we had a meeting in our office. One hour of the time was devoted to each one (three of us) bringing up ideas from "Transform Your Workplace," that we could see could be applied or done better in our work situation. Ouch, some of it was hard, as some of MY 'weaknesses' came to light. I still don't know what to do in response to some. Gee, life would sure be easier if those I lead didn't know me so well. Maybe it's time for a switch of positions. Nah. I must choose another way, a way that requires more of me. How I need King Jesus to teach me humility. I need to listen for the truth in what was said, and change and grow where needed. Are there things that the other doesn't quite understand of the other side of the picture? Maybe, but I need to be careful not to 'spin' in my favour.
Welcome to our world
Every year I want to see it fresh.
Every year something new does seem to stand out.
Okay, so it's not new... I'm just thankful that He came into our world, into our lives, my life, the way it actually is. He is King, walking in the dirt among common people. He honours lowly shepherds...the only ones that get a birth announcement at all (well...except for the star and the wisemen). He makes a huge sacrifice, without ever making a big deal of the sacrifice. You never hear Him say, "Don't you know what I left behind for you?" Nope, He wasn't at all focussed on His lot. He could handle the crap, the sin, and not turn away. He's the only one who really does enter the mess of our lives and offer to be "with us" in it all.
My world...just the way it is. He's willing to come, join in, be a part. I want Him to, but I'm kind of embarassed about ... so many things. And yet He comes.
Welcome to our world... Jesus. Welcome to our world.
*Thoughts crystalized after listening to "Welcome to Our World" (song by Chris Rice, sung by Michael W. Smith) last week.
Every year something new does seem to stand out.
Okay, so it's not new... I'm just thankful that He came into our world, into our lives, my life, the way it actually is. He is King, walking in the dirt among common people. He honours lowly shepherds...the only ones that get a birth announcement at all (well...except for the star and the wisemen). He makes a huge sacrifice, without ever making a big deal of the sacrifice. You never hear Him say, "Don't you know what I left behind for you?" Nope, He wasn't at all focussed on His lot. He could handle the crap, the sin, and not turn away. He's the only one who really does enter the mess of our lives and offer to be "with us" in it all.
My world...just the way it is. He's willing to come, join in, be a part. I want Him to, but I'm kind of embarassed about ... so many things. And yet He comes.
Welcome to our world... Jesus. Welcome to our world.
*Thoughts crystalized after listening to "Welcome to Our World" (song by Chris Rice, sung by Michael W. Smith) last week.
Tis the season
For a Friend, Away from Home at Christmas
(written Christmas 2005)
In all the hub-bub
--the trees, the gifts, the cards, the busyness
even in “Charlie Brown’s Christmas”
(trying to discern Linus’ message from the tree)
we keep trying to regain
that sense
what it was really like
what it was really about
that first Christmas
Yet somehow
in trying to explain
to others
where they have misunderstood
I wonder if
once again
we overlook our own omissions
And so I want to know
about one other
this idea
that is never questioned
along with the others
but perhaps it should be
From where did it come
this idea
that we need to be
“home for Christmas”
When did the season
with its sparkle and snow
become a time to seek
comforts
and community
those who know us best
and love us most
It was not like that
at the start
the first Christmas
a couple travelling
Mary—no Elizabeth to help her birth the child
Wise men, sent wandering
after a star
And the babe
as far as could be
from his Father’s embrace
in pursuit of something bigger and better
(though it looked so small
just a baby in manger)
And you dear friend
though bitter, may it also be sweet
this Christmas
so far from home
in pursuit of something bigger and better
(though it looks so small
just hanging out with kids)
this barrenness
this desolate
is a little closer
tastes a lot like
the
first
Christmas
May your Christmas, and mine, be blessed will all that was real and true about that first Christmas. If we get to be warm and cosy with those we love, thank Father for the extra blessings. If the season is a struggle, and hard. If there is sacrifice, and joy through travel, pain, tears and sacrifice, then maybe (only ‘maybe,’ not guaranteed) we’re getting closer to what it was really about. In any case, follow the star, to the Baby, and learn from Him how to live the season all over again.
(written Christmas 2005)
In all the hub-bub
--the trees, the gifts, the cards, the busyness
even in “Charlie Brown’s Christmas”
(trying to discern Linus’ message from the tree)
we keep trying to regain
that sense
what it was really like
what it was really about
that first Christmas
Yet somehow
in trying to explain
to others
where they have misunderstood
I wonder if
once again
we overlook our own omissions
And so I want to know
about one other
this idea
that is never questioned
along with the others
but perhaps it should be
From where did it come
this idea
that we need to be
“home for Christmas”
When did the season
with its sparkle and snow
become a time to seek
comforts
and community
those who know us best
and love us most
It was not like that
at the start
the first Christmas
a couple travelling
Mary—no Elizabeth to help her birth the child
Wise men, sent wandering
after a star
And the babe
as far as could be
from his Father’s embrace
in pursuit of something bigger and better
(though it looked so small
just a baby in manger)
And you dear friend
though bitter, may it also be sweet
this Christmas
so far from home
in pursuit of something bigger and better
(though it looks so small
just hanging out with kids)
this barrenness
this desolate
is a little closer
tastes a lot like
the
first
Christmas
May your Christmas, and mine, be blessed will all that was real and true about that first Christmas. If we get to be warm and cosy with those we love, thank Father for the extra blessings. If the season is a struggle, and hard. If there is sacrifice, and joy through travel, pain, tears and sacrifice, then maybe (only ‘maybe,’ not guaranteed) we’re getting closer to what it was really about. In any case, follow the star, to the Baby, and learn from Him how to live the season all over again.
How Can I Stop from Singing
See the Morning, by Chris Tomlim, is simply amazing. I've listened to it over and over again since I bought it at the iTunes store last week. The songs are catchy and yet majestic at the same time. I've had to stop and think though--while the music, and the words are such beautiful declarations of all that is true, I wondered if they were accurate expressions of my heart. I find that it's truth that I know in my head, but not always and necessarily the truth that is naturally resonating and bursting forth from my heart. Each song, then, becomes a prayer that my heart would know, like my head does.
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