A grief coming on
First it was for my kids
Birthed from an idea
And it led me to
My grief
The losses
The current struggles
In family
In relationships
Things unsettled
Things not mentioned
Glances
Words
Questions
Awkwardness
Much just barely felt
Until the times when
I feel it all
It's probably all down there
Building
Adding
Soon to be a volcano
Erupting
Unless I heed the call, the invitation
Today
To enter in
I wrote the above 4 days ago. Then, two and a half days later I heard the news, the dreadful news--a cousin is gone from this life, took her own life. Oh the pain, oh the agony, especially for those closest to her. And for me...a sense of His guiding, leading...a heart prepared, and a time...to enter into what all this means, the feelings, the things that need to be acknowledged, the sharing with family.
God of this journey
You know my ways
You know the past, present and future
You know the mess
The incompetence
Inadequacy
Of my ways
And yet You are guiding
You are here
You are leading
Lead us all
Guide us Lord
Heal us
Teach us
And for those especially hurting
Hold them Lord
Comfort
Strengthen
Give hope
And light through this darkness
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